We all want to believe we are descended from poets, philosophers and kings. But the common thread of human ancestry, whether
we accept it or not, is that at some point in our racial or cultural past, we are descended from barbarians. The hunter, the
killer, the atavism lives within us all. It is merely a question of whether we take that initial, primal urge
and turn it into something noble and meaningful, or whether in the name of some higher, ‘spiritual’ aim, we revert
to the barbaric.
PART ONE
One
The man rode slowly toward the crest of the hill. He was in no hurry, for the sounds beyond it told him what he would find
there: rapine, murder, a town in flames. It was a sight he had seen far too often, the same tale told by a madman, over and
over again.
When he reached the dry, sparsely wooded hilltop he dismounted, and hid his weary horse in a small recession by a fallen
trunk. After taking the last bitter draught from his drinking skin he lay down a short distance from it, and waited. His back
against the hard ground, his arm held painfully beside him, he closed his eyes and tried not to think.
But the sounds from the valley beyond would not let him rest: the screams of the women, the rough shouts of cruel men,
the crack and hiss of flames on the thatched roofs. For with them he heard the echoes of his own tragedy, and was galled by
bitter memories of the fall of Rome. Half consciously he reached beneath the rough tunic and ran his fingers along the length
of the terrible scar he bore. Beginning just above the left shoulder, the sword had crashed across his chest, breaking bone,
severing muscle, nearly ending his life. Would that wound ever heal? He did not know, only that it made him useless, even
as a mercenary. And vulnerable. Now he was nothing more than another scavenger..... He let out a scowl, and rolled onto his
undamaged side, and forced himself to sleep.
When he awoke he instinctively scanned the rough undergrowth around him, then rose and moved soundlessly to an outcropping
of stone at the edge of the steep incline. He looked not at the town far below, but across the vast expanse toward the horizon,
where the sun was setting among bars of smoky cloud, red and somber and indifferent.
In less than an hour it would be dark. Already the pillaging horsemen had begun to gather their booty and be off. The few
women worth keeping, screamed as they were bound and thrown across horses’ withers. The few men left alive were hunted
out of the bloody corners into which they had crawled and finished by a blade through the heart, or a slash across the throat.
The fires burned less thickly now, and something of the silence of night tried to gather in the shadows.
Massing at the ruined gate, the useless walls, the barbarians gave one long look at the stark countryside around them.
For they were not the only band of marauders on the prowl. But finding themselves unchallenged, they let out a defiant cry
and rode off in a turmoil of dust.
Cassius watched, and waited.
All the long, starlit night he kept his vigil, senses trained for sight or sound of intruders upon the smoldering village.
But none came. And with the first light of morning, he descended.
He guided his horse carefully down the trackless hill, among the barren stones, toward a place in the wall where he could
be seen only from above. Leaning forward, he wrapped the reins about the branches of an olive tree growing hard by it. Then
urging his mount closer, he stood up on its back, and pulled himself over the rough stone. Then let himself drop into the
shadows of a blind alley.
All was quiet and still. From blackened roofs and doorways the smoke still seethed, and throughout the dirty streets his
eyes showed him the cruel thoroughness of the invaders. Nothing human moved: the bodies scattered to left and right were cold
and stiff. A few goats wandered aimlessly. A red-brown dog, licking the dried blood from its master’s face, caught sight
of him and ran off whimpering, its tail between its legs. Somewhere farther in he heard the bleating of sheep in a pen. That
was all.
He began to search the stone houses for coins, weapons, anything of value that had been left behind. It was a grim and
largely fruitless task. Coming upon what must have been the home of a prosperous trader, he entered its more grandiose ruin
to find the very ringlets torn from his dead wife’s ears. She had been too old and corpulent to warrant much attention,
and remained with the broken shaft of the spear pinning her to a heavy oak chair. And even as he stood regarding her a blackened
beam, eaten slowly by creeping embers, collapsed from above and swung dangerously close to his head.
“Christ!” Look too long at a corpse and you become one yourself.
He did not find the soldier’s superstition amusing. He believed it.
He was about to give up in disgust, when entering again the sunlight of a broader street, he saw a long building largely
undamaged by the fire—its roof was of clay tiles instead of thatch. Perhaps a meeting
place or storage house, it seemed the only thing left worth checking. Skirting the featureless wall closest to him, he followed
a recessed dirt track about the corners, and entered through a broad double door on the far side, gaping wide.
As always he moved silently, his short sword held at the ready. The light was poor beyond the doorway, and as his eyes
adjusted he could just make out something lying on a long table: the body of a woman, her torn clothes beneath her. She had
been repeatedly raped, then stabbed through the heart. A woman, perhaps his own age, in her way very beautiful. He felt again
the sick clawing at the pit of his stomach. He stood very still, feeling acutely the presence of death: hers, already accomplished,
and his own, surely not so far behind. Then turned to walk away.
From somewhere above and behind him came a start, and
he whirled back again. A half defined movement in the beams overhead caught his attention, as something backed trembling into
the corner from which it had begun to crawl. A child it must have been, a girl, because he had seen a flash of long dark hair.
He remained as if frozen, listening as she tried to silence her terrified gasps, in vain. What else could he do?
“Easy, girl, I’m not going to hurt you.”
But the sound of his voice, and the knowledge that she had been seen, only drove the girl to still deeper trauma. She breathed
rapidly, exhaling in desperate sounds more animal than human. Cassius hung his head and walked slowly out the door, trying
to think what he must do.
Don’t be a fool, said his mind, there’s nothing you can do. But his heart had been
stirred to pity. You can barely keep yourself alive, came the voice, and he knew that it was right. But the
thought of that young life, and all that she had seen..... And something else stirred in him as well, less noble, but no less
strong.
“Curse me for the fool I am,” he muttered, then turned and went back inside.
Taking off the braided leather thong he wore as a necklace, he untied the joining knot, and wrapped its length about his
left hand. He mounted the table, then struggled to lift himself onto the main ceiling beam, which ran the length of the enclosure.
Steadying himself, and taking stock of the crossing rafters, he saw that at one end several boards had been laid across
them to form a floor, and large clay vessels stacked for storage. These the girl sent crashing to the floor below with frightened
kicks, as she tried to dig herself more deeply into the narrowing corner.
“No!” she grunted fiercely. “No, no!” The man advanced steadily through the gloom, knowing that
words would be useless. And that if he left her there, she would die.
As his foot touched the first board she gave a harsh cry and rushed at him wildly. Cuffing her he knocked her unconscious,
then caught her about the waist as she was about to slough over the side. He could not entirely suppress a feeling of latent
desire and possession as he bound her wrists, and brushed back the thick hair from her face to be sure he had done her no
serious harm. Then lifting her over his good shoulder, he made his way back along the beam, and lowered her as best he could
onto the table. At that he had to let her upper body slither down unsupported, where it came to rest beside the lifeless form
of the other. This double view removed all doubt. The dead woman was her mother.
He still had no clear idea what the girl herself looked like, beyond the dark hair and olive skin, the slender form so
like her mother’s. So half lowering himself, half leaping to the floor, he came and studied her more closely. And as
he watched her beginning to stir, he had to take a step back in spite of himself, and released a bewildered breath. The girl
was beautiful.
She was older than he had imagined, perhaps twelve, seeming more childlike because of her slight, lithe body and smooth
unblemished skin. Her face too was slender, with full lips and smooth, rounded cheekbones. And the eyes, as she opened them
slowly, were so striking..... Now more than ever he realized they must both be gone, and quickly. A girl like this would not
last long in the cruel anarchy of northern Spain. The best that could happen to her was to be sold, or kept, as a slave: the
short and treacherous life of a concubine. The worst..... He need look no further than the tortured form beside her.
At that moment he heard the sound of approaching horsemen beyond the walls. And with that nightmare sound the girl seemed
to recover her senses fully, and to remember where she was, and with whom. She struggled wildly against the bind at her wrists,
and was about to cry out when he clasped a strong and calloused hand across her mouth.
“Now listen to me close,” he whispered harshly, and in an unfamiliar accent. “There are riders outside
the gate, maybe the same that did this to your mother. You can take your chances with me, and walk out of here, or end up
like she did.”
But there was no reasoning with terror. In her eyes he was the same as the men who raped and stole and killed without purpose.
Freeing her face just enough, she bit hard into the side of his hand, and kept biting until he jerked it free and struck her
backhanded, dulling her senses once more.
“Curse you!” he scowled, sucking away the blood. “I am trying to help you!”
But even as the thought came to him to leave her, and save himself, something else made him tear a long strip from her
mother’s ruined garments, and gag her securely. And putting her over his shoulder as before, he held her legs tight
to stop their squirming, and made his way to the door.
Stealing out into the street, he moved quickly from shadow to shadow, intensely aware of the sound of hoofbeats, spreading
out and drawing closer. He made his way back to the alley, and climbing atop a stack of empty wine barrels, threw the girl
roughly over the wall.
She landed poorly, the side of her face striking hard earth. She was dimly aware of a startled horse, the base of a wall,
and of something large leaping down beside her. Then darkness closed again, and she knew no more.
Two
The girl regained consciousness to find herself lying on her side, a thick dryness in her throat, and an ache and immobility
of the wrists for which she could not account. Opening her eyes, she saw before her a swift flowing stream. A man was bathing
in a backwater pool near the bank, stripped to the waist. She felt no fear of him, only wondered who he was, and what she
herself was doing there.
I must have had a bad dream, she thought. It was terrible. Strange men from the north were attacking the village. They
broke down the gate, then I ran with my mother to the council chambers. She boosted me up into the rafters, and told me to
hide among the jars in the corner. There was a sharp banging on the doors, and as she climbed down from the table she said
I must keep very still, and not cry out no matter what I saw or heard.
Then they broke in, and dragged her by the arms..... Why did they do those terrible things to her? She never hurt anyone.
The thought was too much, and to escape it she studied the man. He was of average height and strongly built, though for
some reason his right arm seemed more heavily muscled than the left..... As if feeling her eyes upon him he stopped, and turned
to face her, planting his feet firmly against the current. He said nothing, only returned her gaze steadily. His hair was
dark and wet, and clung to the sides of his face. He had a short and irregular beard, a hooked nose, and eyes very dark and
serious.
Only then did she notice the scar, beginning just above the collarbone, which seemed irregular beneath it. The mark sliced
downward across his breast, which was also laced with dark and dripping hair. She saw now that his whole left side seemed
affected—stiff, less agile—and that the
skin to either side of the whitish gash was sunken and discolored.
Strange to say, this sight alone seemed to jar her back to something like reality, and to tell her that all was not well.
For the wound spoke of the violent and incomprehensible world of men, of burning and fighting and killing. And all at once
her panic returned.
“Who are you?” she demanded. And suddenly she understood the reason for the pain in her wrists—they were tightly bound by some kind of braided leather. She was trapped! She struggled to her feet
as the man climbed heavily out of the water and came towards her. “Don’t touch me!” she cried, with a vehemence
that startled her. What was happening?
“I’m not going to hurt you,” said the man, stopping a few feet away. “I only want to be sure you
do nothing to hurt yourself. Or me.” And he looked around him at the high, encircling hills. “These mountains
are safer than the valleys, but not much I fear.”
“Where is my mother! Why have you brought me here?” He looked at her strangely.
“Don’t you remember?”
“No.” The realization stunned her, and something like a plea for help showed itself in her large, hazel eyes.
“Where is my mother?” she repeated. And she felt a strangling lump clutching at her throat. “What have you
done to her!”
Again Cassius felt the stirring of emotions long forgotten. He did not know what to say to her. There was nothing else
but the truth.
“I did nothing to her, or to anyone in the village. But the Vandals did. Your mother is dead.”
And with this, like the breaking of a dam the memories came flooding back, no longer wrapped in protective amnesia. But
still she fought against them with all her strength.
“You’re lying. That was only a dream.”
Cassius hung his head. “It was no dream, any more than I am.”
“You’re lying. My father..... It’s not true, it’s not true!” And she sat down
in a heap on the rough, uneven ground, and wept bitterly.
Night was falling, and the man had not returned. The girl remained where he had left her, hidden by a jutting shelf of
rock halfway up the high slope. He had not refitted the gag, telling her that if she cried out she would only bring danger
on herself. But neither had he loosed her wrists, and the pain in them was growing desperate. The gnarled bush he had bound
her to, by an added length of cord, had proven too tough and deeply rooted. She could not unearth it, or break its branches
to slide the unyielding loop upward and over the top. Failing in this, she struggled first with the knot at its base, then
with the bind itself. Its harsh leather tore her skin, increased her pain, but would not let her hands pass through, no matter
how she squirmed and fought. His strength, like the crushing strength of a world without compassion, was just too much for
her.
At first this realization brought only despair, and the fear of being helpless and alone as night closed in around her.
But in another way..... She could not explain it. Yet somehow the feeling of being bound by the will of a man, a strong and
unyielding man, brought with it a sense of security. She still mistrusted him, still feared him, but there was no denying
it. The way he looked at her, the way he took such pains to keep her from running away, or hurting herself. Though the feeling
confused her, she realized that she was important to him. She mattered.
But fear remained by far the stronger voice. He was still a man, and all her awakening experience of men told her they
were treacherous, and cared not at all for the feelings of a woman. She told herself she hated him.
But where was he now? How could he just abandon her? Had he left her there to die? Unable to stand, she planted her feet
firmly against the thick roots and pulled again at the cord, as long and hard as the pain would allow. Useless. She let out
a plaintive moan, and leaned over her hands to cry.
Several minutes later she heard a sound, and looking up, saw him standing over her. In the last dying light of the day,
his face looked more stern than ever. But something else, unreadable, played in the fierce eyes beneath tightly knitted brows.
She had not the age or experience to understand the conflicting emotions at work in him, but instinctively she noted the expression,
and locked it away in her memory.
“There is a cave,” he said, “a short distance from here. There we will have fire, shelter and food. But
I have not the strength to carry you, nor the patience for any more games. Will you walk with me now, or spend the night here
with the wolves?”
She found herself incapable of answering, but only drew up her legs protectively beneath her. “What are you going
to do with me?” The shadow of his eyes grew darker still.
“Nothing I haven’t had the chance to do already. Damn you! There is no time for this.” The man drew a
long knife from its sheath, bent down and cut the cord with a single, angry jerk backward. Wrapping the frayed end tightly
about his right hand, he turned away and began to walk, half leading, half dragging her behind. The pain in her wrists forced
her to go on, though what else she would have done.....
She followed.
Three
He had not lied about the cave. It was dry, the floor of dirt level and soft. And with the fire burning steadily, the small
entrance partly covered by a blanket, it was also warm and bright enough to dispel the chill in her bones, and the feeling
of naked exposure to the night. Nor had he lied about food. A butchered lamb lay beside him as he worked to construct a frame
of stakes on which to roast it.
But the pain in her wrists had become all consuming, and dangerous. “Please,” she said, with tears of vexation
in her eyes. “Untie my hands. I won’t try to run away.”
Cassius stopped. These were the first words she had spoken since they set out from the ledge. For the first time he left
off his labors long enough to study the cruel work of the bind: the leather cuff was darkened with blood, the soft skin beneath
it discolored and torn. He needed no further prodding. Taking a long wooden needle from his pack on the floor, he came closer
and set to work untying the double knot.
But no sooner had he released her hands than he immediately seized her sandaled feet, brought them together, and with the
very same leather and cord, bound her tightly about the ankles.
The girl was almost too stunned to react. But after he returned to the makeshift spit, and she had slowly massaged some
measure of feeling back into her hands, she looked over at him in confusion. The same question that had troubled her since
she first found herself in his power, returned with the added force of resentment. She tried to suppress it, fearful of his
wrath. But a rising bitterness goaded her on, and gave her the courage to speak.
“Why?” Her voice was at first the rich and womanly tone she had inherited from her mother, almost defiant.
But as he glared back at her, unmoved, her youthful despair returned. “Why are you doing this to me!”
He seemed to take this in, but did not answer. Instead he lifted a sharp stone, and with it pounded the two Y-shaped stakes
into the ground on either side of the fire. Then with a strength and stubbornness that were unnerving to watch, he impaled
the lamb on a third, and set the stripped carcass in place. The exposed flesh hissed and popped as it was licked by the flames.
Then with an abruptness that startled her, he came and sat cross-legged directly in front of her.
“Do you mean, why did I save your life? Why did I go back to the village, despite the danger, to be sure we both
had enough to eat? Why don’t I let you run out into the night, where if the wolves don’t get you the barbarians
will, or maybe even one of your own countrymen? Is that what you are asking?”
And though she struggled against them, the tears came again. “No. Yes..... Why are you hurting me!” Cassius
eyed her steadily, subduing the pity that tried to well up inside him.
“Don’t you understand?” he said finally, looking away. “I am trying very hard not
to hurt you..... I am trying to protect you. Listen to me. You are so young. . .you don’t realize the dangers all around
you.”
“The most dangerous thing in my life is you!” And in a blind fury she seized a handful of dirt and small stones,
and flung it at the side of his face.
With this the man turned sharply, took her shoulders in a crushing grip, and lifted her straight up. And as they stood,
so close, she felt the hatred of his eyes burn through her.
But Cassius’ hatred was not for the hapless girl, and slowly he remembered it. More slowly still, he loosed his grip
on her. “Well,” he said quietly, and with strange emphasis. “At least you know something of the hearts of
men. I was beginning to wonder.”
With his hands no longer supporting her and her feet thus bound, she quickly lost her balance and sloughed to the ground.
Raising herself on one arm, she brushed away the dirt from the shoulder of her dress, and with her fingers, pushed behind
her ear the thick and straying locks of her hair.
“I hate you,” she said bitterly, fearing to hear herself speak. But the man did not respond, only continued
to turn the lamb on the spit. And in its utter helplessness, she saw herself. She leaned heavily on her hands and watched
him, unable to feel anything but a kind of battered bewilderment. And the throbbing pain in her wrists.
Lying down again forlornly, she rested her face on her arms and stared blankly at the fire, till she felt her eyelids
droop heavily. She turned away and closed her eyes, trying to block it all out. All was weariness and pain.
She fell asleep.
The man watched her, feeling so many things. And though he told himself a true Roman could never be drunk, the wine
he had brought from the village was not without its effect on him. But of all the things he felt, sitting empty and worn before
the fire, the strongest was a kind of dark wistfulness. He knew that all must end in death and ruin, and that life was therefor
hopeless and meaningless. He knew the girl was not his own, and that she herself felt nothing for him but fear and loathing.
He knew, and yet this night it struck him as terribly sad. And while he had always viewed such emotions as weakness, there
in the sheltered cave, with the beautiful child so close. . .the knowledge did nothing to lessen the pain.
In her sleep
the child stirred, moaned something that sounded like, “No, don’t leave us.” Cassius wondered vaguely to
what phantom of her past she spoke. Then reaching blindly down, she made as if to wrap the hem of her dress more tightly about
her exposed ankles. But the impulse faded partway, and instead she only drew her knees more closely to her body, rubbing the
side of her leg for warmth. All unconscious, all innocent, and all, for reasons she could not know, a silent torment for the
man.
In the smoky light of the fire, the distorting heat of the flames, Cassius felt his eyes losing focus. His mind too seemed
to lose its anchor and drift backward, into a past still too recent, and a place that would never be far enough behind. And
all the while the girl was there before him. But as an owl spoke hauntingly somewhere in the night, ancient messenger of death,
his spirit yielded at last to the melancholy spell. And in her place he saw other figures, other forms. He tried for a moment
to fight off this, most bitter of memories. But he was so tired, so damnably tired.....
He saw his wife, lying on the wooden floor of what had once been a home, cradling even in death the body of their young
son, trying to protect him. Both were covered with gashes and gaping wounds, garments slit by the blows and thickly stained
with blood. As the moon rose silently, and wolves gathered on the outskirts of the town. While in the near distance, the Rome
of his forefathers, burned. And the single, terrible question had hammered him to his knees, strangling him with merciless
tears as he leaned over and cradled them both in his arms, broken. He spoke the word aloud.
“Why?” In the name of Heaven, Why?
With this he came back to the present, and he shook his head angrily. But the question remained, a bludgeoning
and pitiless foe, destroying all he believed, cared for or understood.
But since that mortal night he had vowed never, never to weep again, and did not now. Instead he rose, pacing back and
forth like a caged animal. He looked over at the girl, restless and aching.
Then for a reason not altogether clear to him he went to the entrance. He took down the blanket, and walked with it to
the place where the girl lay sleeping. And though the words, “Damned foolishness,” played in his mind, nevertheless
he knelt down beside her, spread the blanket over her, and gently tucked the folds of thick wool beneath her legs.
Then he returned to the fire, and closing his mind, finished roasting the lamb.
Four
In the soft light of first waking the girl felt a strong hand on her shoulder, and a husky voice speak her name softly.
“Ariel.”
Oh! The sound and feel of him came as such blessed relief, contradicting all the dark images of the dream—of abandonment, loneliness and death. She turned towards him warm and grateful, eyes closed contentedly,
putting her arms around his neck and drawing him close.
“Father. You’ve come back.”
But there was something unnatural in the unyielding stiffness of his body, and in the rough beard that scratched her cheek.....
In sudden revulsion she remembered and pushed him away, throwing off the blanket and trying to run. But the bind still held
her ankles, and she could not. Half crawling, half rolling away from him she searched frantically for some kind of weapon,
or large stone to hurl at him. But there were none to be found. As the dawn peered in through the entrance she saw nothing
but the cave, the fire, and the man who held her life in his hands. And now it was her ankles that throbbed.
Seeing that escape was futile, and that the man himself made no move, she sat up abruptly and pulled down the hem of her
dress, which had ridden dangerously high in the struggle. Still he made no move. Her sense of desperation faded, but her anger
did not.
“Why did you do that?” she demanded. But then another thought came to her, and her expression changed to one
of bewilderment. “How do you know my name?”
“I didn’t, until just now.”
“But how— ”
“If I tell you will you stop torturing yourself, and promise to eat something?”
She eyed him suspiciously, trying to gauge his motives. But she wanted to know so badly..... “Yes, I promise!”
The man moved back to the fire, which had fallen to graying charcoals, lit red from within, the roasted lamb golden and
still above it. He sat down and pulled closer to him the deerskin pack. He reached inside and fished about for a moment, then
drew out a locket on a fine silver chain. But the chain itself was broken, and the engraved cover no longer fitted shut.
“You have seen this before?”
“You know I have. It belonged to my mother.”
“Yes. Then you know that inside is a miniature portrait, the head and shoulders of a little dark-haired girl. And
on the inside cover are the words: ‘Closest to my heart, closest to my breast, Ariel.’”
“How could you?” she cried, burying her face in her hands. For until that moment the smallest part of her still
clung to the belief that somehow her mother was alive—that the attack on the village
had not happened, or if it had..... But this was worse than any nightmare. It was real.
Cassius eyed her evenly. “Do you mean, how could I steal from the dead? Or do you mean, how could I force you to
see things as they are?” The girl turned away, trying not to listen. “Well, in the first case I will confess it
is something I have done in the past. But on this occasion the locket is for you, a remembrance of the woman who gave her
life for you. And as for showing you the hard truth, don’t you think it is time you started facing it? Your mother is
dead and your village destroyed. And if I read the signs right, your father has betrayed you both.”
“Stop it! Stop it!” And again she flung handfuls of dirt at him. But as her aim was blind, and the fury short-lived,
he did not respond in kind.
“Your mother is dead,” he persisted. “But you are not. You can hate me if you want, but that won’t
bring back the past. It won’t bring back those you loved, rightly or wrongly. Listen to me! You are in a country, nay,
a continent, overrun by barbarians. There is neither law nor reason to fall back upon. You had better start thinking how you
are going to protect yourself.”
The girl said nothing, only hung her head mournfully. And when he tried to make her eat, she refused.
A short time later they descended, down from the high cave to the place where Cassius had left his horse, a level clearing
on the long hillside, among the shelter of pines. The big grey stamped impatiently when it saw him, raising and lowering its
head, though it made no other sound. The man walked right up to it, freed it from its tether, and patting the neck, bent over
to examine its hooves. He moved all around the animal, stroking its flanks, checking both muscle and coat.
Ariel watched from her distance, trying to remain aloof. The bind at her ankles had been replaced by a shackle of rope— she could walk but not run. But she could not help noticing that the rough man took
good care of his horse, and that it seemed to feel a kind of affection for him in return.
“Where did you get him?” she asked plainly. For she had slowly reasoned—
“Keep your voice down.” he whispered harshly. “Take a lesson from my horse if you must.
Noise brings attention, and attention brings death.” Her face colored, and she looked down at the cold ground beneath
her. Still, she repeated the question.
“This is not your native country,” she said. “And to judge by your accent you cannot have been here long.
How did you get the horse?”
He started to answer gruffly, but there was something appealing in her childlike stubbornness. And now that she spoke more
quietly..... “The same way a man gets anything that is lasting. I took it in my own two hands.” He could not entirely
suppress a feeling of pride as he gnarled its long black mane in his fingers, and slapped its strong chest with the opposite
hand.
“But how did you train him in so short a time?”
“I bought him from an old man who kept him tied to a rusted plow, scraping day after day a dry field full of stones.
He had sense enough to appreciate the change of fortunes. If I must say it again, you could take a lesson from him.”
Cassius felt a pang of remorse as he said this, but it was not lasting.
“What do you want from me!” she cried, stamping her feet in vexation. He came closer to silence her, but the
outburst was already fading. “What are you going to do with me?” And she hung her head, feeling utterly lost and
abandoned.
Now it was Cassius who pawed the ground, angry and agitated. For he himself did not know, had no answer to give her.
“I don’t know,” he said finally, gazing obstinately at the crown of her head, from which the curling
locks hung seductively.
“Are you going to kill me?”
“Of course not.”
“Will you. . .rape me?”
“I haven’t yet.”
She released a heavy breath, almost a sob. “Will you sell me as a slave?”
“No.”
“Then why? Why won’t you let me go?”
“Because I can’t. At least not yet.” He looked away, as if speaking to himself. “I know the last
thing you want right now is to be alone with a strange, bitter man. I understand your contempt. But what you have to realize
is that the life you knew is gone, and that it can never come back. Ariel,” he said emphatically, turning back to her.
“I am not the one who ended it. I didn’t sack your village, or rape and kill your mother.”
“But you were there, after, to steal from the dead!” His eyes narrowed at this, glaring at her with some fierce
emotion that was beyond her experience.
“I make no apologies, to anyone, for what I must do to survive.” He began to pace back and forth, growing angrier
with each step. “I spent half my life trying to protect the frontiers from these animals. And when Rome fell..... Aahh.
This is pointless.” And he moved off to sit on a stone, trying to gather his thoughts.
Ariel stood silent, till the morning cold began to creep up her legs, the sleeves of her dress, like a frozen blade making
for her heart. She gave a shudder, a sorrowful groan, and moved closer to the horse for warmth. Blindly she put out her hands,
and tried to lean against it to cry. But the animal was growing restive, and only moved away with a snort and a shake of the
head.
Cassius, who had seen all this, and who now saw the girl fall to her knees as if in prayer, finally felt something give
inside him. He rose, came beside her, and put a hand lightly on her shoulder.
“Ariel. Come.”
“Where are we going?”
“To bury your mother.”
Five
The man moved with bitter stealth through the now familiar streets. And with every sudden sound, every shadowless stretch,
he asked himself again why he had come. The danger had not lessened. On the contrary, every scavenging band within miles must
now know that the village was plundered and laid bare. True there were countless others like it, but how much protection that
afforded..... And added to the visual horrors he had already seen—the corpses thick
and buzzing with flies, mutilated by wild dogs and carrion birds—was the unbelievable
stench of decay. Death he had seen, of course: the bodies piled for burning, both friend and foe, crackling with their dark
and acrid smoke. But to see women and children left to rot under an indifferent sun, their eyes pecked out by crows..... This
was a sight, and smell, that tore at the soul, and turned the stomach inside out.
But he knew what he must do, and grimly, he did it. Reaching again the darkened hall, he prepared the body as best he could,
grateful only that thus far it had been left alone. For what was the need, with so many others lying helpless in the streets?
He closed his mind, and would not allow himself to feel the full depths of the woman’s tragedy. What would it accomplish
if he did? Nothing.
Nothing.
The girl stood hidden upon the flatted crest of the hill, in the hollow where he had left her. The shackle of rope still
restricted her movements: to try and descend the steep path after him would be dangerous, while to run away, thus bound, into
a world without order or hope..... But that was not why she obeyed him, and remained there. Seeing once the blackened roofs
of the village, tasting for herself the foul odor of the dead and listening to the vultures fighting over them, was simply
more than she could face.
Was that why he had brought her here, to force the whole of the disaster down her throat? Hadn’t she been through
enough already? She hated him more in those empty, horrid moments than she had ever hated anyone.
But something else gnawed at her as well: a dull dread of the thing he had gone down to find. She loved her mother more
than all the world. But the thought of her lifeless form, of something terrible and loathsome in place of the only comfort
she had known.....
And yet she couldn’t run away from it, either. What if her mother wasn’t really dead? How could she be? Just
two days before she had been as alive as herself, had felt hunger, fatigue, love and sadness, all the things that she herself
was feeling. Even now she felt the gentle touch, the warm body that held her close, and with silent tears told her not to
be afraid. She had been alive. She must still be alive! A blow to the head, a gash across the breast, that was
all.
“Mother!” And despite the shackle that clutched at her feet like a beggar, and the horror that was like a leper’s
face, she shuffled, and slipped down, and lifted herself again toward the path that led back to her home. Her home!
But reaching the sheltering stone from which Cassius had first surveyed the valley, she stopped abruptly.
There he was below her, leading his horse steadily up the snaking incline. And lashed across its back, jostling in a movement
at once both fluid and stiff, was something wrapped in a patchwork of brown curtains.
She closed her eyes and staggered back. She fell, paused. . .then stood up again with curious poise. Turning mutely, she
retraced her steps to the place where he had told her to stand, the hollow by the fallen trunk. There, he had said, they would
bury her.
She felt nothing as the man finally came upon her, breathing heavily and pausing to rest. She still felt nothing as he
wiped the sweat from his brow, patted the horse weakly, and began to untie the ropes that held the doubled ends of the corpse
together. She only noted, with mild irritation, that he was exceedingly gentle as he lifted it off the rough saddle, and carried
it like a sleeping child to the base of a nearby Joshua tree. It was a place she had known since childhood. But when he started
to undo the fabric that covered the face, she felt such a shudder run down her back.....
“No! I won’t look. I won’t!” She turned away, her back to both of them, till something seemed to
seize her by the face and arms, her face hot and wet, and she found herself staggering toward them.
“Mother, I’m sorry. No! Don’t leave me! Dear God.” And she fell to her knees as the man rose and
stepped aside, engulfing her mother in her arms, and burying her eyes against the beloved breast.
But it was cold, and made a strange sound as she put her ear to the place where the heartbeat should have been. She was
filled with a sudden, overpowering revulsion. She stood up, and would have screamed but for the strong hand which prevented
her.
She struggled like a madman against his restraining grasp, then slowly went limp. Cassius brought her closer, awkwardly.
Again she struggled, but he persisted, turning her towards him.
The breast her face now collapsed upon was not soft, and the hands that held her were not gentle. But they were warm, and
living, and wanted her there. She sobbed heavily, ceaselessly as he stood very still, at intervals lightly touching the back
of her head.
“I’m sorry,” he said many times. And then, “I’m sorry you had to see this.”
Perhaps twenty minutes had elapsed. The woman was buried, and they dared not linger. Cassius wiped the dirt from his hands,
from his face, and turned to see the girl sitting where he had left her, head down and silent. He laid aside the broken spade,
and addressed her. “It’s time we were gone.”
He stopped suddenly. Had he heard a twig crack, or was it only— His horse stirred
nervously, eyes wide. This time he was sure. From a clump of bushes to his left came the sound of a man, crouching more deeply
behind them. And from the corner of his eye he saw a half defined figure farther off move quickly between a gap in stunted
trees and undergrowth. He drew out his sword, and began to back slowly toward his horse. With the other arm he instinctively
reached for the girl, trying to brush her back along with him.
But though Ariel, who had risen, was also aware they were no longer alone, her reaction was entirely different. She hesitated
for a moment, confused, then eluding the outstretched arm, burst instead toward the man in the bushes, moving as fast as the
shackle would allow.
“Help me!” she cried frantically. “Help me!”
The shadowy figure rose up and came forward as she staggered towards him. But as she gained her balance and her wits long
enough to look up at him, she found no trace of pity in his eyes. At the same instant two others like him broke from cover,
and rushed at her companion.
Cassius stood very still. Then as the first of the two drew within striking distance he whirled, and with a vicious blow
of his sword, cracked the shaft of the spear that had been intended for his back. And as his second assailant hesitated at
the sudden movement, he turned on him with a cry of rage, and buried the short sword up to its hilt in his chest.
He felt a sharp pain and involuntarily lost his grip on it, as the spearman brought the splintered shaft across the back
of his head with a crack. He fell forward and rolled away, reaching for his knife. As he did he saw a fourth man trying to
seize the reins of his horse, and that the man from the bushes had wrestled Ariel to the ground and was tearing at her clothes.
A moment later the spearman lunged at him with the recovered point of the spear, but this time Cassius was ready. Twisting
his upper body to elude the thrust, he reached back and pulled the man across him and to the ground, then grabbed a fistful
of hair and craned back the dark head, exposing the neck. And before the man could struggle free his throat was cut, bathing
the Roman’s hands in warm blood. Then he was on his feet again, ready to attack the man at his horse.
But there was no need. The frightened animal had risen up on its hind legs, and with front hooves dancing in the air, crashed
the man to the ground. Cassius retrieved his sword from the first body as the horse bolted off with a cry and a shake of the
head.
He watched it go, then turned slowly towards the man who had attacked his woman. This man, suddenly aware that the sounds
of battle had ceased, released his grip on her and rolled away.
And when he saw the cold gleam of death in Cassius’ eyes, he gave an involuntary start and tried to gain his feet
to run. But too poorly, and too late. Cassius closed the distance between them in four quick strides, and threw him over onto
his back. From there he fell to his knees and raised the sword, dagger-like, and crashed it down between neck and shoulder.
The man shuddered and tried to scream. Then slowly his tensing body relaxed. His eyes sank back and his head turned away.
The Roman remained on one knee, breathing heavily. Dully he remembered the man his horse had stunned, and withdrawing the
blade, rose to finish him. The adrenaline that had given him strength, now left him limp and exhausted. He walked past the
girl, unseeing, then prodded with his sword, only to find the man already dead. He moved to a clump of stone and sat down,
his shoulder throbbing and his breath coming hard and painfully.
Ariel remained where she lay, eyes wide, breathing too deeply and at intervals giving a shudder of fear and revulsion.
The one thought that would form from the blank terror of her mind. . .was one of disbelief. For the men who attacked them
had not been foreign invaders, not barbarians as she knew them. They were Spanish, a remnant of the ruined village guard.
Then why?
At length Cassius rose and came toward her, his eyes and mind still burning from the heat of close combat. Drawing
nearer he remembered her betrayal. Without mercy he lifted her up, and with a strong hand reopened the front of her torn dress,
which she had closed and held tight against her. Beneath it he saw a smallish breast, firm and perfectly shaped. He took her
head in his opposite hand, and crushed her to him.
“No, Cassius, please. Please don’t hurt me.”
Her voice worked on him strangely, seeming to wake him from a kind of dark dream. But though it suppressed, for a time,
the brutal urge inside him, it did nothing to lessen his anger. With the knife once more in his hand, he bent down and sawed
at the rope that kept her prisoner, bound to his will alone. And giving one hard, final jerk, the last strands tore and gave
way.
“You do what you want,” he said flatly. And he began to walk away.
Ariel stood and watched him, her emotions churning wildly. She did not care for him, or trust him. Her fear of him had
not lessened for the ruthless, predatory look she had just witnessed in his eyes. But another fear overpowered all: the fear
of abandonment, of being truly alone in a world of violent anarchy. He was neither father, nor husband, nor friend. And yet
the sight of him moving steadily away, and the realization that his warnings spoke a savage truth.....
“Oh.” She found herself walking, then running down the slope after him. “Wait!” she
cried.
“Where are you going?”
Cassius said nothing, only continued to walk in the direction that his horse had fled. And when she caught up with him,
when she put a hand on his shoulder he whirled, glaring hard and raising a forefinger in strictest warning.
But he did not tell her to go. He turned again, and continued to descend. After hesitating one final time, she followed.
48
Six
Cassius followed the trail for many hours, across a vast plain of heather and gorse which first began to roll, then fold
in upon itself. It was late afternoon before he spotted his horse at the edge of a steep ravine—then
it was gone down the slope—and late evening before he could draw close enough to
calm it, and bring it once more under his control.
By then the light was fading, and the day’s long march had led him far to the west, still further from the coastal
towns, into a region largely uninhabited. He found himself in a craggy, deep-cloven valley, split down the middle by a river
running south. Needing water for both his horse and himself, he led it the remaining distance to the grainy, time-worn banks
of the stream.
Somehow Ariel had stayed with him. Though on several occasions hunger and fatigue had forced her to stop and rest while
the man did not, each time she was able to rouse herself, and half bitterly, half desperately, to rise and run and catch up
with him once more. Cassius had been aware of her presence throughout, and was not as indifferent to the dangers both faced
in the open country as he might like to be. Even now, among the relative cover of rock and bramble he watched her closely,
some two hundred yards behind him up the slope, pausing as if to consider her next move.
As he had walked, and still more, as he realized that she was following, his anger had slowly cooled, and rational thoughts
begun to pass through him once more. Her disloyalty still stung him, but the very depth of this emotion showed him that he
had begun to feel a strong connection to her. And while he railed against this, wanting and needing no one, he could not help
a feeling of male pride at the way he had defended her.
For almost two years, since he first received the terrible wound, he had been obsessed by it, convinced it made him vulnerable,
and useless as a soldier. But the day’s close combat, his first real test, had shown him otherwise. His shoulder ached
now, the arm tingled, but they had done what he asked of them. He had done what must be done, swiftly and decisively.
He clenched his fist at that, and had to discipline himself not to cry out in angry triumph.
Ariel sat back against the slope, exhausted and unsure. She could not have said why she followed him, at all, let alone
the many miles they had crossed. But once it became clear that his leaving was no bluff, that he was fully prepared to go
on without her, something on a primal level had told her..... What? She did not know, only that she had followed, and was
now in sight of him. Yet this same voice, unspoken, kept her from going straight to him. So she waited, and tried to gather
her thoughts.
But night was falling fast, bringing with it a chill wind from the great northern mountains, following the course of the
stream which fled from them like wolves on the scent of game. She could just make out the small fire he had built, knowing
him well enough to understand that it was hidden from as many sides as possible, and would burn no longer than it absolutely
must.
What she felt for him, or even what he would do to her in his passion, were no longer the main concern. It was cold, she
was hungry, and this man had protected her. She knew, deep down, that he would not hurt her. Though she had little hope that
her virginity would survive the encounter.
With a single tear for lost innocence, she made her way carefully down the slope. Slipping now and again on the loose and
pebbly limestone, she came at last to a large boulder, lit on the far side by the light of his campfire, casting illusory
shadows beyond. She hesitated, feeling desperate. Then stepped around the indifferent stone, into a small clearing a short
distance from the river, shielded from it by a wall of brush and scrub pines.
Cassius looked up at her from the fallen trunk on which he sat, unmoved. “Sit here,” he said, indicating a
dry patch of ground in front of it. “Don’t say a word. Just eat, and then sleep.”
She felt the tears start again as she came slowly and stood before him, looking into his eyes for some sign of what was
to come. She saw there the anger she expected, though it did not seem the only emotion at work in him..... His voice was harsh
and inflexible.
“Sit.”
She sat down, never taking her eyes off him. He handed her a bowl of cooked meat, a crust of bread, and a
cup half filled with water.
“Eat.”
She ate and drank slowly at first. But though her mind remained cautious, her body eagerly accepted the sustenance he had
given her. Again she felt the subconscious desire to submit to his will, to obey him, and to accept the life he offered. When
she had finished she gave the utensils back to him, and stood up.
“Sleep,” was all he said.
At this word alone did her instincts rebel, and a sense of danger return to her. She looked to the place he had cleared
for himself, his horse and belongings a short distance from it. She moved not toward it, but to the opposite side of the fire.
Here she brushed away what she could of the surface gravel, tried to find a place where the ground would be softest.
Then looked back at him one last time. He might have been a statue, and his eyes remained unreadable. She lay down partway,
facing him.
“May I have a blanket?”
“There is only one.”
There was no need to interpret his meaning. She rested her face on her arm and tried to sleep. But the fire was slowly
dying, and the man made no attempt to refuel it. She turned away. Sorrowfully she asked the question that haunted her, like
the unquiet spirits of the dead.
“Why is this happening to me?” And somehow, he seemed to know what she was feeling.
“There is no why.”
“But why did that man try to hurt me? For what reason?”
He released a caged breath. “There is no reason for the things an evil man will do. Somewhere in the course of a
lifetime, he just stops caring.”
“Have you stopped caring, Cassius?”
To this he made no answer, unless he made it with his silence. Instead he rose, moved to the place he had prepared, and
began to dig a shallow pit. Then lined it with the smoldering embers, and covered all with a thin layer of dirt. He spread
his wide blanket on top of this, and lying down, folded one half over him.
And soon he was asleep. Though the girl could find no such escape.
The man woke to feel a trembling body beside him. And as his senses came back to him he realized that it was the girl,
her back against him, trying to cover herself with the blanket. He drew her closer for warmth, shifted his body to spread
it over her.
“Please don’t hurt me,” she said in a pitiful voice. “I’m so cold. I’m so afraid.”
“Never,” he said, taken back by the power of his emotions. “It’s all right. It’s all right.”
He held her tight, feeling so many things. And in time, she slept.
55
Seven
Ariel woke feeling warm and rested, and quietly at peace with her world. She could not at first account for this, or for
the clearing and the soft sounds of the river beyond.
When memory and awareness did return, she was much less certain what
she felt. Somehow she was alone beneath the covering blanket, her clothes and her innocence intact. Why he had not taken her
that night, when she was powerless to stop him, was a question for which she had no answer. Only one possibility presented
itself, and this seemed so unlikely..... The very thought was disquieting, so great were its consequences upon her
56
shattered world.
Was it possible? Did this fierce and powerful man truly care for her? Would he protect her, even love
her as his own?
Sitting up, she looked around her. She saw him through the screen of undergrowth, his back to her, gazing
into the stream as if deep in thought.
Beside her she found a bowl of wild berries, and the same cup half filled with water.
Strong feelings stirred in her, battled against each other as she ate and drank, and tried to think.
Cassius sat wearily
on a smooth stone by the bank, still trying to work it all through. Since the girl had come to him that night he had found
sleep at first difficult, and then impossible. The bewitching child, whose flesh was to his as water to a dying man, had lain
so close in his arms..... And yet he could not take her. Because the truth was, he did care. Somewhere among the hours they
had passed together, her simple need had touched him, had woken him back to the cares and sorrows of the world he had renounced.
More even than this, her beauty and innocence aroused in him the primal combination of pity and desire which no natural man
can resist. His needs both to shelter and to hunt, to protect and to penetrate, to nurture
57
and tear down, all found outlet in the girl, and ceased their feuding and became one. He wanted her.
But this same desire,
not only for the girl but for another chance at life itself, brought him face to face with the terrible demon from which he
had fled for so long: the dark and fatal reality of his life. And he was forced to admit, galling as it was to any soldier,
that he had in fact been running. Could he now muster the courage to turn and fight? Could he, a wounded man, many miles from
home in strange and hostile country, take this young life to his own?
So deep was he in his reverie that at first he was
unaware of her approach. He felt a light touch on his shoulder, and knew at once it must be hers. Not turning, he waited for
her to come and stand before him on the gentle embankment. Their eyes met on a level for the first time, searching, struggling,
trying to understand. He knew that she must ask her question first.
“Why?” she began, feeling agitated. “Why
didn’t you take me when you had the chance?”
“Because I can’t do that anymore. I took my wife.....
And now she’s
58
dead.” He was silent, then forced himself to go on. “I want to take care of you, to protect you. I have been
trying to think where we could go, what we could do, to be safe from all of this. But there is something I have to know first.”
He looked away, then straight at her.
“Ariel. Are you with me?”
“But I don’t even know who you
are.”
“I’m a Roman soldier, or I used to be. All my life I’ve been fighting, for something I thought
I believed in. Maybe I just don’t know what else to do..... Until last night, I thought there was nothing left worth
fighting for.” She stirred, feeling restless and confused.
“Am I with you. As what? A slave, a mistress, a
daughter? You ask me to choose, without telling me anything.”
“I am not your father, Ariel, nor even your friend.
What you will be to me I cannot say. Perhaps if you were older..... But you’re not. The one thing I can promise is that
you will always be free to leave, just as you are now. But the question remains. Will you follow where I lead?”
“What
choice do I have!” she said angrily.
“That is not an answer.” And though it cost him to do so, he turned
59
and headed back to the clearing, where he began to load his packed belongings onto the horse.
“All right! All
right!”
He turned back to her. “Ariel. I am not trying to be harsh. But if you are to come with me, if together
we are to stay alive amidst the chaos, then it must be as loyal allies. I must know that your heart, and your full attention
are with me.” She had begun to turn away, when the steel in his voice returned. “There is only one word that will
get you on this horse, and you have not said it!”
She rushed at him, began to pound his chest with her fists. Then
lay her forehead upon it instead. In time she felt his hands upon her shoulders. She spoke.
“I just want you to promise
me one thing.”
“What is it?”
“That you care about me.”
“I do.”
She
stepped back, and at last her mind was clear.
“Then yes. Yes, I am with you.”
60
Eight
They rode in silence for a time, Cassius guiding his horse cautiously along the narrow track that skirted the river, with
no greater plan than to follow the current and see where it led. The chill of the previous night still lingered in his bones,
and with Winter not far off, south seemed as good a direction as any.
With the girl behind him, her arms about his waist,
he was acutely aware of two sensations. First, how good it felt to have her there, and to know that she was with him. But
then, more strongly, how impossible it all was, and how tragic it would be if he failed to protect her. As he had failed
61
Arna..... He watched the rocky, undulating slopes closely, the wooded banks to either side of the water, knowing that around
any bend could lie strangers, enemies, a trap. The walls of the ravine had begun to pull back slightly, and the scrub pine
to yield to deciduous trees, their changing leaves a blaze of gold and deep crimson: there was some cover to either side of
them. Still, he took nothing for granted.
As they continued on, he was surprised to find but few signs of habitation. In
a dry land a river such as this, albeit secluded, should have been a lifeline of trade if nothing else. Here and there they
would come upon an abandoned house, and toward noon the ruined landing and pull-ropes of what had once been a ferry crossing.
At
first he was relieved by the absence of settlers, but then it began to puzzle him. Stopping for water at a sandy clearing
where he could see a fair distance both up and down the path, he resolved to ask the girl about it. Kneeling at the water’s
edge to fill his skin while the horse drank beside him, he put the question to her. She stood a short distance behind, stretching
her lower back and looking about her.
“Ariel. How well do you know this country?”
62
“Well enough. My father used to trade here. But that was before…..” She hesitated.
“Before he
got tired of being a father, and sold you and your mother to the richest man in the village?”
“You don’t
know that! You don’t know my father, how hard it was for him, being.....”
“A Jew?”
She shifted
uncomfortably. “You know?”
“It’s not much of a secret, with that Star of David engraved on your
mother’s locket.”
“Then you understand that we have always been outcasts. That my father was cheated,
harassed, even beaten and robbed. You can’t know what it was like. Or perhaps you hate us, too.”
He gave a
grunt, of laughter or of sadness she could not say. “If only you knew how little such words mean to me. Christian. Jew.
We all ask God to deliver us, then try hard not to see He’s doing no such thing. No, I don’t hate you. But as
for your father, there is no excuse for a man to abandon his family.”
63
“He didn’t abandon us! He just had to go away for a while. And he didn’t sell us.”
Cassius shook his head. “Your mother wore a slave ring with the same symbol* emblazoned on the rich man’s
door. You yourself wore such a ring, until I took it off you last night.” She turned away and seemed on the verge of
despair, but he knew that he must drive the lesson home.
“You were slaves, Ariel, though you may not have been called that. And whether he wanted to or not, your father made
a prostitute of your mother.”
“Stop it! Don’t you speak ill of my mother!”
“I am not, and I never will. No doubt she was sleeping with the old bastard just to keep him off of you.”
“How
can you say such things?” she said weakly, unable to deny him.
“I say them because they’re true, and
because the only way to survive such horrors is to look them in the face and call them what they are. I won’t
*the raging lion
64
speak of your father if it upsets you, because I know you loved him. As for your mother, she has earned my deep and everlasting
respect. She stood true to her child, through loneliness and pain.....” Now it was Cassius who felt the hollow sting
of a loved one lost. He closed his eyes, and unconsciously whispered her name.
“Arna.”
But this was neither the time nor the place for any of this. “Ariel. Forgive me. We must be
moving on.”
Though she was reluctant, he persisted, boosting her into the saddle while choosing himself to lead the
animal on foot. Give her time alone, let his horse rest. He too felt the need for isolation, and to feel his sandaled feet
upon the earth.
He walked.
#
They had traveled thus for some miles when the silence began to
weigh on him. Uncomfortable, he questioned her.
65
“Ariel. I asked you earlier if you knew this place. Can you tell me why the houses are deserted, the ferry abandoned?
I see no signs of pillaging.”
“Why should I answer you now?” she said sulkily.
“Because if you don’t I’ll throw you
in the river..... Ariel, this is important. Important to our survival. Why is the valley deserted?”
“.....it’s
the river. They say a colony of lepers formed upstream and contaminated the water. Now it’s called the River of the
Damned.”
Cassius stopped dead, then whirled in near frenzy.
“But we’ve both drunk from it! Christ,
you’ve killed us both!”
Her face was defiant. “Ignorance and superstition. Even if the colony was still
there, and it has been several years, leprosy is not spread in that way.”
“You would risk both our lives on
that?”
“It’s no risk. People hate the Jews for a lot of foolish reasons, but one thing we have always
had are writings and teaching. Leprosy can only be spread through close personal contact, not by water, and
not through the air.”
66
Cassius came closer and, holding the reins in his left, took her wrist in his strong right hand. “Let us understand
one thing very well. I do not hate the Jews, nor did any Roman before Constantine. Under our rule they were free to worship
as they chose, so long as they paid the tax and made no trouble. You see how things are for you without us. And just because
I am a soldier does not mean I’m ignorant. There are things I know about the land, about life and death, that you will
never know. I had heard that about leprosy. I just wasn’t sure I believed it.”
“Believe it!” she
said, jerking free her hand.
Cassius stood very still, torn between pride and compassion. “Are you defying me?”
“What
if I am? I’m tired of your threats, and the way you always bully me with your version of the truth. Who do you think
you are?”
His eyes narrowed. “I think I am the man with the horse, the food, and the sword that saved your
life. All right. You say the water is safe, perhaps you would like to prove it. You need to bathe, and I need to sew your
dress.” In her anger she had forgotten to hold it shut, did so hastily. But then she felt a surge of fear.
67
“Are you asking me to bathe in the river?”
“I am.”
“But Cassius— ”
“If you don’t trust me by now then I am wasting my time. Or is it the river you
fear?”
“Wait, please. Just give me more time.”
“All right. You have one hour. It will probably
take that long to find a suitable place. Then we will see about ignorance.” Without further speech he took up his former
position, and led the horse forward.
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Nine
Toward mid afternoon Cassius stopped again. A smaller stream now cut across their path, angling into the river through
a rift in the steadily widening ravine. Following it a short distance upstream, he found the greener, more gently wooded rift
deserted but for a small stone house on the farther shore. This stood alone on a level stretch above the bank, partly hidden
by trees, fringed in high grasses, and backed by the rising stone. Mounting behind her, he crossed over the clear and gurgling
waters, moved closer to the house to investigate.
“Like the rest. Empty,” he said as he returned, helping the
girl to
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dismount. “We’ll leave the horse here to graze; maybe we can pass the night inside. Now. It’s time for
you to bathe.”
“In the river?”
“Of course not. I was angry when I said that. I would never endanger
your life for the sake of pride.”
“But you still want me to bathe?”
“Yes, I do. The pool beneath
the waterfall, there,” he pointed, “seems as good a place as any.”
“But I’m afraid.”
Her eyes pleaded.
“Ariel, there is no time for this. Already the wind is turning cold. I won’t watch if it
troubles you, just stay close enough to protect you, if need be. The stream is a blessing, clean and untainted, and I really
must mend your dress. You make a tempting enough target for roving bands without showing your sweet breasts.” Her face
colored, but he brushed this aside. “Ariel, please.”
She stood in turmoil, studying his face. Her eyes then
moved to the house, real shelter for the first time in days. Then back to the man.
“All right.”
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He could not entirely read the change that came over her: sadness, surrender, and despair all at once. Again he felt a
qualm of remorse, checked the subconscious passions that had begun to well inside him. Yet still he took her hand, and led
her toward the tranquil pool.
Ringed by young trees and sheltered from behind by the rise of moss-covered stone, it seemed
a place removed from time, and from the harsh world around it. Cassius felt his conscious mind slipping once more, and as
they reached the narrow strip of sand at the water’s edge, turned her towards him.
“Give me your dress,”
he said to her.
She hesitated, looked at him imploringly, then reached down to her calves and lifted it slowly, revealing
by degrees the young and shapely brown legs. She stopped just below the hips, her two hands held protectively together. .
.then took the folds of dark red cloth above her waist, her chest, over her shoulders. And handed it to him. Her face was
flushed and afraid. And for all his promises, Cassius could not keep his eyes from looking down at the partly exposed body,
only the cotton slip, itself torn, shrouding in mystery the fine, lithe, youthful form. His gaze returned to her
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face, itself the more beautiful for the sorrow it now held and slowly, slowly came back to himself.
“Leave your
sandals and your slip by the water’s edge,” he said thickly. “I’ll mend your dress by the stunted
oak, yonder. I’m sorry for staring, but you must know that you are very, very lovely.”
But the girl was too
stunned to take the compliment. Instead she walked stiffly, without feeling, toward some branches that leaned out over the
water. It was not until she had removed the slip and hung it weakly across them that she found she was standing ankle deep
in water. Cold, chilling water.
She turned to see the man sitting a short distance off, his back against the hard bark
of a gnarled tree, sewing the front of her dress without turning to look at her. Reaching down, she slipped off first one
sandal, and then the other.
The wind was rising now, and along with the water, brought her back to full and aching consciousness.
Rubbing her arms she found them covered with goosebumps, her nipples hard and exposed. She felt her nakedness intensely, more
even than the cold. But she knew what she must
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do to appease the man, and spend the night in the shelter of the small house beyond. So she advanced farther into the deepening
pool, bent down and began to wash her face and neck. There was neither cloth nor soap, and to avoid the wind, she plunged
still farther into the center of the pool. There, as she let her legs slide out from under her, the water welled up around
her neck.
Cassius, meanwhile, continued pushing his needle into the cloth of her dress, pulling it free and out the other
side, inserting it again, working smoothly and easily around the tight and bud-like buttons. It was a skill his fellow soldiers
had sometimes mocked him for, until they found themselves shivering through tattered garments in some high Alpine pass, and
came to him with coins of bronze and silver, asking his help. He would have to make a pair of fur boots for himself and the
girl, he thought.
I didn’t expect Spain to be so damnably cold. Curse these northern mountains. The
needle went in and out, in and out. He glanced over at the girl to be sure she was all right. He could just see the outline
of her shoulders, her hair wrapped in a swirling knot above the back of her head.
Damn pretty girl. What a price she’d fetch at a true Roman auction.
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If only he’d been born in his great-grandfather’s time, a Caesar. He’d have sent his best man-servant
to the square every day to look over the newly arrived slaves, taken from all over the Empire because their provinces had
tried to revolt. Served them right, too, going against the natural order. And if he missed a fine prize like this I’d
have him roasted.
She could be my mistress in waiting. Yes. Too young to take now. But after three slave girls
had brought him to the point of climax he’d have her brought in, his own body wrapped in silk and he’d kiss her
gently, so gently on the lips, she still innocent and not understanding his passion.....
She doesn’t look all
that young in that slip, his thoughts continued. I wonder how old she really is. No doubt her mother
was keeping her as childlike as possible, though that could have proved a double-edged sword. He’d known a lot of men
willing to kill their own brothers for a beautiful girl not quite ripe, still half a child and therefor forbidden. He himself
was not immune.....
Ariel closed her eyes, the only s