The miracle has happened! How can I ever doubt the existence of God again?

Last night we lay down to sleep, as we have for several nights now, on the futon that we traded for. Meryl had been languishing badly on the mat of woven reeds that was all we’d been able to construct from indigenous materials. So several days ago, as we sat gathered round the morning fire, speaking of the hard choice that lies before us, and the things we would need to secure in either eventuality, to the surprise of all she turned away out of modesty, then reached into an inner pocket of her skirts and took out a hidden pouch. As she loosed the string and poured its contents into the palm of her hand, we all gasped. For precious stones glittered there, a small fortune to be traded for anything we like. She apologized for not telling us of it sooner, but said her father had asked her to keep the jewels secret until real need arose.

Cassius began to mutter, “When, if not now. . .eating God damned lizards,” and, I’m ashamed to say, “rich Jews with their money up their ass,” until Ariel punched him in the shoulder, only half jokingly, and told him to be quiet.

To make a long story short, she gave one or two to each family, put the rest in my keeping, at which I was deeply touched, and asked if we could trade them for better beds, food and clothing, as well as local currency in the event we decided to travel again.

So Cassius, Alexander and myself made a cautious journey into Cirta, the inland town. And finding it not yet conquered or in chaos, we traded the gems for local coin of gold and silver, and these in turn for feather futons, clothes, food and wine.

We also went to the waterfront, where we learned that boats still ply the river between here and Hippo, the way not yet blocked by invading armies, though many refugees have already taken shelter in the city, fearing the worst.

But last night as the three of us lay together— myself on the outside to protect them, Sarah curled up comfortably between us, while Meryl slept nearest to the wall. . .she remains terrified of predators, though both gates, front and back are nearly complete. That very afternoon she’d seen a lion hunting down by the stream at the foot of the ridge, and hasn’t ventured from the cave since…..

Forgive me if I don’t know how to say this. My mind still will not concentrate as it should, and words seem so trivial in face of miracle. Yes! Somewhere in the night, huddled among the sheepskin blankets, our positions changed. Somehow, in the midst of dreaming about her, I found that Meryl lay in my arms. Unconsciously I embraced her and, still thinking it a dream, began to stroke her arm with mine, to warm her. Yet to my astonishment, I slowly became aware I was no longer asleep. First— for my subconscious had been reliving the night after the shipwreck, when hope and fear alike were too much to face— I found that she lay facing me. Next that my hand, of its own volition, had slid down to the small of her back and on between her buttocks, which roused me strangely. And third, as I opened my eyes and saw her face close to mine, realized that my phallus was hard and erect— for she was naked— and that she herself was aware of it.

As I withdrew the hand and tried to apologize, thinking I had somehow sinned against her virtue— myself a gentile, and she still in mourning— she only whispered, “No,” with tears in her eyes.

Then her hand swept low to engulf me, the fingers encircling, then gently stroking up the length of my penis. I let out a gasp and shivered at the silken touch. I quivered again, and no power on earth could restrain the words, “I love you.” This seemed to give her pause, but only for a moment.

“It’s all right,” she said, in a voice so sad and womanly that I thought my heart would break. “I want you to make love to me, Gaius. Make me feel good again, the way I did with Malachi…..”

I thought that she would sob, and the moment be lost forever. For her beautiful face had drawn back from mine, cruel punishment for my transgression. But it soon came near again. I felt her lips upon mine, our tears mingling in a sacrament of love for which no words exist. Then her mouth was at my throat: kissing, licking, her other hand caressing my breast. So great was the pleasure as her fingers slid across me that I felt myself a child again, being petted goodnight by my mother…..

Yet this was but a foretaste. Her sweet face continued down, sliding across my stomach, my quivering abdomen, as my sex brushed against her cheek. “Meryl!” I whispered, in shocked ecstasy. Her lips were about my phallus as she lovingly kissed, stroked and suckled. I no longer knew where I was, who I was, only that my Angel had come for me at last and I was free. Free! Can you possibly know what that means after a lifetime of impotence?

Then came a pause in which the pleasure stopped and I returned, doubting, to the world of reality and endless disappointment. “Meryl,” I begged, reaching for her in confusion. But she had only changed position. She lay on her back now, drawing me on top of her. Or had I done it myself, rolling her over, and parting her legs with my own? Again her hand found me, as I strove blindly for the soft wetness that would make it all come true. And now she was guiding me in. I prayed with all my being…..

I was inside her! The bliss returned and now, all uncertainty gone. . .I was inside her. She was mine! I tried to thrust gently at first, not wanting to hurt her. But her hands were upon my buttocks, drawing me in. She kissed me, half biting my lip and whispered, “Harder!” I could not have resisted if I wanted to, as my hand and mouth, of their own accord, cupped and kissed her small and lovely breast…..

Then in an enchantment for which no words exist, the passion rose in me, dominating, overpowering, as I thrust into her again and again.

I don’t know how long the surging tide flowed, or if I gave her a tenth of the pleasure she gave me. Only that the blissful waters closed over my head, devouring all reason. I felt the climax approaching and suddenly, beyond control wrapped my arms about her legs, thrust deep and hard and cried out, wordlessly at first, then finding the only name that I would ever need again.

As the orgasm racked me again and again. Till I lay utterly spent and unmoving in her arms. Tears flowed warm down her cheek as I lay against it, breathing hard. Or were they mine? Only that I kissed her, so gently, unable to restrain either breath or words. For they were the same, eternal.

“I love you, Meryl. I’ll never let you go. I’m going to take care of you, protect you, and give you everything you need.

“My Angel. My Meryl. My wife!”

II

“Man proposes, God disposes.”

We never had the chance to execute our plan. The wind turned in the night, blowing hard from the south, and kept us from sailing out of the harbor and into the open sea. But that did not prevent the Celts from coming in.

Alexander and Cleades saw them first, amorphous shapes in the gray light of dawn. They immediately called Cassius, who in turn ordered the women and children to get below and stay there, the men to seize their weapons and move to action stations. “Christ!” he cursed beneath his breath. Even the indomitable Greek, who braved the hurricane for days on end, was all but paralyzed by the sight. He knew we could not escape them. Their smaller craft surrounded us, a score at least, and we could not defy the laws of physics: there was simply no room in the harbor to tack against the wind. And even if we could, two larger ships, at least the measure of our own, blocked the bottleneck entrance completely.

So much for laying low, or meeting them on our own terms.

The emotions of a husband (which I am not) and a father (which I am) are indescribable at such a moment, with those you love completely at the mercy of strangers. None of us knew whether to fly or fight, talk or threaten, live or die.

But the thoroughness of the natives, both in plan and execution, allowed us no such choice. To a man they handled their craft as if they knew these waters like the face of a loved one. As indeed they must. After gazing at the growing swarm of boats around us, the two ships beyond, Cassius himself, who had stood, outnumbered ten to one before the walls of Rome itself, was at a loss. Finally he said to us:

“It’s no good. Cast loose the sheets, as a sign of submission, and let’s hope they’re not after blood.”

When this was done, a vessel of moderate size, constructed of some wood that had faded nearly white, came forward and drew up alongside. A tall, elderly man, in a white robe trimmed with gold, his long hair flowing in the wind and a pale staff in one hand, held up the other in token of peace or command. It was impossible to know which. Cassius’ jaw tightened, and he clenched the hilt of his sword until his knuckles were as white as the Druid’s beard. But it was no use. After a moment’s impotent rage he nodded to the brothers, who moved amidships to lower the gang-rope. We all felt as naked and helpless as a bound wolf dangling from the hunters’ pole.

Two other men, middle-aged and more martial in appearance— long swords at their belts, thick leather jerkins studded with bronze and shields slung over their backs— refused the proffered hands and climbed sternly over the gunnel and onto the deck. Then drawing their weapons they gestured for us to lower our own, which we did— Cassius last and most reluctantly.

But what could he do? What could any of us do? They could have sent a hundred men swarming over the sides if they chose to. The younger of the two, who by look and mannerism might well have been brothers, glanced back toward the boat and nodded that all was secure. Only then did the priest, or wizard, or whatever he was, come aboard.

When he had made his way gracefully over the side, the old man looked at each of us in turn with expressionless blue-green eyes, set in a forehead both high and proud. But somehow the overall effect, even through our racing fears, was not one of threat or intimidation. Austere and lordly, to be sure, but not as one who sought to dominate and control. No African bishop, to be sure.

He seemed to identify Cassius as the leader (or certainly the warrior) among us. He nodded to him gravely, but still without menace. Then he moved to stand before the twins, Cleades having sought the shelter of his brother’s arm, and seemed wholly fascinated by them. Then on to Jacob, the two men appearing similar somehow, though their features could not have been more different. For the Druid was tall, nearly six feet, and Jacob a full head shorter. Their eyes met. Some kind of recognition passed between them, and Jacob smiled tentatively. And lastly, on to myself and Cassius. For I had moved to stand beside him, not for protection (at least not my own), but as a sign of unity. If I may say it, though there was little time for thought, it was an act of true courage and loyalty— something to hold on to when I begin to doubt myself.

Finally, to our astonishment, he said in a kind of mingled Greek and Latin: “I am Nechtainn, High Druid of Erainn. This is Magnus Maghonach, our Lord, and his brother Angus, Commander of Ships.”

At this he paused, and Cassius, speaking in simple Latin, replied. “I am Cassius, son of Drusus, once a soldier of Rome, now head of the company, and leader of our…..”

“Expedition?” the Druid suggested.

“Yes,” he returned, finding the distortion— or was it in fact the truth?— less dangerous. “The brothers (here he used the Greek, ‘adelfos’) are from Athens.”

“Gemini,” said the older man, with a half smile in their direction. “The twins. And these?” He indicated Jacob and Malachi.

Cassius hesitated, then told as much of the truth as he dared.

“Our spiritual leader, and a pilgrim of. . .the Middle East,” he ended lamely.

“Juden?” asked Nechtainn in perfect German. At this the breath caught in my throat. But the man only smiled, as if this too was known to him.

“Yes,” said Cassius sullenly.

At this the Druid spoke to the others, saying something in Gaelic. Only Alexander, who had studied their language through years of secret preparation, understood what was said.

When Nechtainn turned back he seemed to read this (or something like it) in the young man’s face. For he addressed him directly in the language of Ire-land, and the rest of us were left in the dark. After a brief exchange, Alexander acted as our interpreter, saying:

“He asks me to tell you.” A pause as he listened again. “That they have been expecting us.”

“How?” asked Cassius, incredulous.

Alexander translated, waited for the response. “They have been aware of us since we first arrived. . .and were watched upon Sharcaen.”

“The sacred site? By who?” demanded Cassius, in growing agitation. Then before he could translate, “Do they mean to kill us for it? By God, they’ll count a heavy toll— ”

Alexander gestured sharply: be silent.

At this Nechtainn asked what was said. And after hesitating, unsure, Alexander sighed heavily and told him. The two warriors growled, but the Druid only nodded gravely, seeming more reassured by the young man’s honesty than angered by the threat.

“Other Druids may have done so, in Erin and beyond. But we of Earth Communion do not kill in the name of our Faith, though I have seen it done.” His face clouded at some distant memory. “But to us that would be sacrilege.”

Cassius exhaled and straightened. He had begun to reach down for his sword, the ruling brothers to move toward him. The Druid held out his hand to stop them, though all remained tense. Nechtainn shook his head sadly— as if such scenes had been all too familiar in the course of a long and difficult life, continued.

“We try to be tolerant, when we can. Be at peace. We did not come here to kill you and yours, though whether or not we allow you to remain…..” Cassius’ eyes widened in disbelief. Nechtainn turned toward him. “Has not yet been decided.”

… “Thank him,” said our leader haltingly. “And apologize for my. . . you know I was only trying to protect….. Tell him.” Alexander translated.

The Druid nodded his understanding. “But the seas grow agitated, even here in the sheltered harbor. Won’t you come with us to the island, where we can speak in greater ease?”

“With whom, and to which island?” asked Cassius suspiciously.

“My friend,” he said patiently. “If we intended to kill you— I have told you that is not our intention— we could have done so without your consent. I mean to this island, Oileán Cléire, with Magnus, Angus, and a few of the tribal chieftains to witness what is said.” He indicated the circling shore. “And you need not all come— certainly not the women and children. The leaders only.”

“All right,” said Cassius, still trying to master his emotions. “But men only, and in our own boat.”

If Nechtainn any felt irritation at his caution, his lingering mistrust, he did not show it. And though perhaps I read too much into his outwardly benevolent manner, yet still I hope…..

“Shall we go?” he asked, with the same half-smile at me, as if he’d read the thought in my mind. I nodded, as Cassius exhaled heavily, trying to gather himself for yet another crisis.

The Celts returned to their boat, the ruling brothers standing guard as Nechtainn handed down his staff and descended. Then they cast off, making for the shore. We drew up the launch, boarded her warily, then did the same.

#

While much of this is second-hand— Alexander, as I said, being the only one who understands Gaelic— here is what I have since been able to piece together, a rough translation of what was said.

When Cassius asked Nechtainn whether he or Magnus was the ruler of the lands roundabout, he did not at first seem to understand the question. Alexander then offered a second translation, and he nodded his comprehension, though not his assent.

“You are Roman,” he said, “and responsible for the lives of your company, so I forgive the misunderstanding. You are no doubt accustomed to Emperors, Governors and Generals. But there was a time in your history, was there not, when Rome was a Republic, and power did not rest in the hands of one man? Our Shannachies— keepers of the oral tradition, history and legend— also speak of Democracy, a true sharing of power, among the Athenians. Is it not so?”

Alexander translated, then as Cassius hesitated, nodded proudly for both of them.

“Then surely you can understand that while I am respected, as much for my age and experience as for my place as High Druid, Erainn— that is the country you are in— is blessed with leaders, not rulers, who do not seek absolute authority. Each man here (indicating the two already introduced, and the other clan leaders who stood in a circle about us, as a we sat before a fire in the sheltered hollow to which they had led us) will have his say, and together we will decide what is to be done. I speak now, for myself only, because it is simplest and most direct. Then we will discuss among ourselves all that is said, and what is to be done.”

Cassius tried to take this in, did so with difficulty, still fearing that we had been lured into some kind of trap. Jacob, who had accompanied us as a spokesman for the Jews, saw things differently. Indeed, the two men seemed to understand one another as the benevolent, and ultimately nominal heads of their respective congregations. He said:

“Please tell him we are sensible of his kindness, and grateful for his magnanimity.” Alexander did. “And that it is a great gift not to have to hide our Faith. As you may know, we seek no converts, or to teach any other our ways and our beliefs.”

Nechtainn nodded, even smiled, confirming their mutual surmise.

“But tell me,” continued Jacob, in a spirit of interest and curiosity. “How do you know of my people? Our rabbis and historians, of which I am one, do not speak of any meeting between us.”

“The Celts have had dealings with many peoples outside the realm of Eire, what you call Erin, and of Caloch Donae, which the Romans name Caledonia, or Scot-land. It is taught, through the Shannachies, that we first came here, long centuries ago, from the heart of Europe itself. Also, there are the Saxons in Britannia, the Romans who once occupied it, the Franks, Goths and others from the continent who have come down from the Northern Hinterlands. And the Vie-kings”— his face clouded once more— “who have raided from the frozen north and east for time out of mind.” He looked away, or possibly within, and the shadow seemed to pass. “And while I have not heard of a direct meeting with the Israelites (he knew the word, and even pronounced it correctly), there is a first time for everything, is there not?” And the gentle smile returned.

“Yes,” agreed Jacob warmly, though Cassius remained tense, myself uncertain. Nechtainn may have been the salt of the earth, but as he said, he spoke only for himself. The hardened faces around us were neutral at best, some openly hostile. Only Alexander was now completely at his ease— from understanding or delusion it was impossible to say.

“May I ask,” said Cassius cautiously, “how you knew we were here, and what you intend to do with us?”

“You were spotted from the watchtowers the morning you first arrived. There are several on the mainland, and two you may not have seen on Sharcaen itself. Also,” he added frankly, “it is my home.”

Cassius nodded, beginning to realize, as he had first done when he came upon Jacob and the mountain refuge, that here was a people every bit as subtle and determined as the Romans, and with a knowledge, even a wisdom, all their own. “I thought they were only rock formations.”

“As outsiders are meant to. Also, there are the Vestal Virgins, who live and worship on Sharcaen.” At this Cassius said nothing, sensing the danger.

“As for what we are going to do to you, the answer is this: nothing we could not have done already, if our hearts were as black as you seem to fear. As for what we are going to do with you, that is what we have come here to decide. Come. Tell us plainly. What do you intend in coming here, so far from your various homes?”

Before Cassius had time to gather his thoughts (and perhaps the half-truths that might be seen through, to our ruin), Alexander answered for him. For all of us, really.

“We have suffered much, each in our own way, at the hands of the peoples of Europe, and the barbarians who came down from the North— of whom we share a similar distrust, for their thoughtlessness and violence. It is I who brought us here,” he said, with a fierce pride that no humble words could conceal. “We come seeking peace, freedom, and a life without fear and shame.”

The Druid studied him for a long moment, seeming to read, even to empathize with the youth who had been so marred by his life of slavery, and the very worst kind at that. For this, too, he could read plainly. He nodded his understanding.

“But my gentle friend, I have to ask. Do you speak for the others? And do you seek these things for yourselves alone, or for others who may come after you?”

“There are no others,” said Alexander sadly, a tear starting at his eye as he realized, in turn, that the old man sensed something of his pain, his past, and was sorry for it. It took him a moment to gather himself.

“We are orphans, outcasts, slaves and refugees. Most Mediterraneans do not believe that Erin exists. I had trouble— even with the written account of Liolus, the trader whom your people met and treated fairly— trying to persuade my friends that I did not lead them on a fool’s crusade. . .but to a land…..” He nearly choked with the sudden emotion that welled in him. “…..where abuse and slavery would be forever banished.” He could no longer restrain his tears, though he remained hard and unmoving as a statue.

Jacob, who was nearest, put a hand on his shoulder in silent support, as I would have done, had I not been rendered helpless by fellow feeling. What a tortured life he and his brother must have led, and from the time they were mere children!

Cassius was clearly dismayed by the show of emotion. But as I looked into the old man’s eyes, and even at the softened expressions of the chieftains roundabout, I knew that it would not be held against us. Indeed, though I was afraid even to think it, I hoped it might tip the scales in our favor. For what he said of all of us was true.

The Druid seemed to weigh this carefully, looking again into the young man’s eyes.

“You move me, Alexander. And yet I must know. Do you speak the whole truth, with nothing held back?”

“The whole truth,” was his honest reply, as he cuffed away the tears. “No one wants us, and no one follows us.” Nechtainn nodded his acceptance.

“I too am grateful,” said Cassius, when Alexander was calmer, and this had been explained to us. “I sense your wisdom and compassion. But I see others here about us, men like myself— soldiers, husbands and fathers— who are fiercely determined to protect and preserve their own. How can I know….. Are you certain there will be no reprisals? For I cannot even think— ”

At this the emotion rose in him as well, though he brutally choked it back. Then, brave man that he is— I have never doubted it— even pushed forward. “And will they really consider. . .letting us stay?”

“That is the question,” agreed the Druid. He paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts, then continued.

“The Celts of Erin, and even we Druids, are as many and various as any other peoples on Earth. The watchword of our Faith, is tolerance. But tolerance must be tempered by caution, or all is lost. Too often, in our long history, have we learned this bitter truth the hard way.

“We of Erainn,” he continued, “have been blessed with a bountiful land and sea, in some measure free of the perils and persecutions of the continent— which we still visit at times, seeking news, though warily. Seldom now do we venture far inland, since the barbarians you speak of came down from the north to change, and even destroy the balance of power, such as it was, in what you call your Roman Empire. And now that the turmoil, the chaos which drove you here, has spread far and wide, engulfing all of Europe, we must be doubly cautious, never speaking of our distant island home.

“But you say you have come here alone, and for my own part I believe you. Though how you came to possess such a ship, as only the wealthiest of men could afford, is a story that remains to be told.

“Yet your actions are not those of scouts or invaders, who would not have brought their women and children with them. Perhaps you will be permitted to stay, though I cannot promise it. Indeed, the greater danger may lie in allowing you to return, carrying word of a rich green land, largely untouched by the collapse of your once proud Empire. For then, surely, others would follow.

“You have given us much to consider,” he concluded, “and many more words must pass between us. But for now you may return to your ship. None will be harmed, of that alone I can promise you. The worst that we would do— and I will speak against such a course— would be to keep you prisoner.”

Cassius again began to bridle— a lion’s loathing of the cage— but kept his feelings in check, knowing that he must. We rose together, and Nechtainn held out his hands. As each of us took them in our turn, he studied us carefully, seeming almost to see inside our minds. His eyes rested longest on Cassius— whether because he is our leader, or for some other reason, I don’t know.

He came to Alexander last, put his arms about him, and seemed to feel a genuine affection for him. At first the youth stiffened at the embrace— from experience, no doubt— then relaxed and returned it. If there had been anything untoward in the old man’s actions, no doubt the former slave would have sensed it. But he did not. Instead, when Nechtainn released him, he went down on one knee and bowed his head before him, seeking the Celtic blessing of a father to a son. The old man smiled and laid his hand upon the curly head, bestowing it gladly.

Alexander rose, and seemed to smile at him with a heart no longer wounded, and a warmth he had previously shown to no one save his brother.

“I knew that we should come here,” he said. I knew it.”

“I, too, believe that it was meant to be. Surely you and your brother step out, as through the mists of time, from the myths of your ancestors. Perhaps when the others have decided, we may exchange our histories and legends. There is wisdom in the old tales, yes?”

“Yes,” said the young man smiling, and with an undefiled love that surely moved all who saw it. He gets in you deep, our Alexander.

We moved back down to the shore, and on to the boat. And rowed in silence back to Aphrodite. Our families, who had not been in any way molested, welcomed us with relief and gratitude.

And now we wait.

I

The morning after had to come. I woke to find my love had slipped from my grasp as furtively as she had entered it. I raised my head in alarm, but saw Meryl a short way off, sitting hunched before the fire with her arms about her knees.

I’ve never been so grateful to have the small needs of my daughter to think of. For in truth I did not know what to say to her, or how to read the strange, veiled expression of her eyes. I could almost have believed our passionate love-making a dream. But no, it was real. Then why….. And what now?

A little later in the morning when Cassius and I went out to hunt, trade, or whatever would transpire beyond the southern slopes, I tried to tell him of my quandary: that I loved her, had pledged my life to her, but did not know how to read. . .if not her coldness (for she had not been that, smiling at me forlornly as our eyes met over the coals), then her emotional distance. And my underlying fear.

“Is it because I’m a Gentile?”

Cassius, who had not failed to hear our passion— which would, in his words, have wakened the dead— actually laughed. “You haven’t got a clue how their minds work, do you?”

Stung, I could not help pointing out that Ariel seemed to manage him pretty well. For a moment his face clouded with anger. Then he shifted the great spear to his left hand and punched my shoulder with the right— too hard to have been entirely in jest— but followed it with a wry smile.

“So, you think the bull is tamed? Leave me alone with that vixen of yours for an hour, I’ll put a hole in that illusion. And her.”

“Stop it!” I raged, flinging down the bow and wrapping my hand about the hilt of my new sword. With this all levity left him.

“Do you want me to kill you, Gaius? Leave me to ‘dry her tears and soothe her fears?’”

I tried to glare back at him, but found him in deadly earnest. Had I not faced the Vandals on the battlefield I would not have believed such a thing possible: he had no qualm whatever about ending my life, would in fact enjoy it.

“Why do you have to be this way?” I cried, exasperated. “I’m trying to confide in you as a man; you mock me and threaten the woman I love!”

“Not with anything more deadly than my cock.” And the mischievous glint in his eyes returned.

“You’re incorrigible,” I said, sitting back in a heap against the stony slope, and covering my face to hide my shame. … “I don’t know what to do.”

After a pause he came and sat beside me. “All right, then. As a man.

Say it.”

“What did you mean, I don’t understand the way their minds work?”

“Just that,” he said, ruffling my hair in his maddening way: sudden humanity after threatening death, and meaning it. “She’s no troubled angel, if that’s what you think, trying to resolve some deep inner conflict. She knows she has you, and wants to see how far she can push you.”

“You don’t understand,” I said miserably.

“Don’t I? You think Ariel has never tried it with me?”

At this I looked directly at him. His family was strictly off limits, or had been until now. “And I’ll tell you something else,” he went on. “Don’t let her get away with it, or she won’t respect you at all. She’ll look for a stronger mate. And she won’t have to look far.”

“Alexander?” I demanded, as fierce jealousy burned through me. “But she’s seventeen, and he’s only— ” My heat betrayed my uncertainty. I gathered myself, pushed on. “But she gave herself to me. We made the sweetest, purest love. You heard us, for Christ’s sake.”

“Yes, Gaius, but I’ll tell you a secret. Women keep a cooler head in their passion, as we cannot. It is their one power over us. And even when they do love, which is rare, they’ll still use cunning and manipulation to get what they want. They have to, to survive.”

“You make it sound as if last night was nothing more than a. . .transaction. . .and this morning mere haggling over the price. How can you think that way and still live?”

“The world won’t change for you, Gaius, no matter how badly you want it to. You have to adapt yourself, to it.”

“Now you’re my father?” I said mockingly. But he had made his point, and we both knew it.

“I don’t know,” he said, rising. “What does your mother look like?”

At this I lept up and seized him by the tunic— or whatever these Arab garments are called. “Don’t you ever speak ill of my mother.”

He regarded me calmly. “Ariel said that to me once, but she didn’t lay hands on me. Do that again— ”

I turned him loose, flailed the air in frustration. “You’re the most exasperating man I’ve ever met!” He only smiled.

“Don’t you really mean that she’s the most exasperating woman?”

“I love her!” I cried, just able to keep my voice low enough not to

draw attention, and therefor danger.

“You think I don’t love Ariel?”

This brought me up short. “I know you do. But what am I supposed to do with, the woman I…..”

“Want to marry?”

“Yes,” I said, the intention as uncertain in the light of day as it had been implacable the night before. “But how can I? Only Jacob could have married us in her Faith.”

“As to that,” he said, starting down the hill again. I hesitated for a moment, then re-slung the bow and followed. “No ceremony was ever performed between Ariel and myself, as you wrote in your little melodrama.”

“You’ve read it?” I tried to stop again but he wouldn’t let me. He kept on, forcing me to do the same.

“Entertainment is in short supply, as you may have noticed. And you can only fuck your wife so many times, especially when she’s pregnant.”

“How can you speak of Ariel that way?” He kept walking, as if this didn’t deserve an answer. “So…… What did you think of it?”

“I’m no scholar,” he said plainly. “I couldn’t read at all— my father didn’t want me to— until my best friend taught me.” His mind seemed to drift back, and I was startled to realize that such things still mattered to him. “I just thought an aspiring officer should be able to read and write dispatches.”

“Don’t change the subject,” I said awkwardly, realizing with equal suddenness that he sometimes thought of me this way. Cassius as a friend? Was that even possible?

“You’re the one who changed it. Weren’t you really going to ask me to marry you in the Roman way?”

I stopped dead, my breath coming short. “Can you do that?”

The distance between us had grown to where his answer was barely audible. Perhaps he wanted it that way. “I am a Centurion. A Captain, actually, now that my own is dead.”

I ran down the hill after him. “Do it, Cassius. Do it now!”

“After the hunt,” he said with equal frankness. “Survival must always come first.”

Frustrated as I was, it came to me that this was what he’d been trying to impress upon me since the day we met. Had I finally learned it, hard as it was for a dreamer, a spiritual man?

Survival must always come first.

#

We didn’t return to the cave until sunset, though we brought with us a good-sized sheep that had wandered from its flock. “Something for your wedding feast,” Cassius had said in good-natured sarcasm.

Ariel welcomed her husband with love and gratitude. Meryl began to move away. But at an almost imperceptible nod from Cassius I understood, or at least thought I did. I went after her, taking her by the arm and, despite her protests, moving deeper into the cave, to a place where we could not be seen or heard by the others.

“I want to marry you,” I said, determination and sympathy warring inside me as never before.

“You’re hurting me,” she said. I released her arm.

“I’m sorry, but I have to know. When I called you my wife. . .last night when I said….. Surely it meant as much to you.” She turned away. “Please, Meryl, I’m in agony!”

At this she seemed to gather herself. She looked at me, as if weighing my resolve.

“I can’t live like this,” she said simply.

“Then we’ll leave here.”

“And go to the city?”

“Yes, if that’s what you want.”

Her resistance seemed to melt. She sighed heavily, and I thought that she would cry. “Then I‘ll lie with you tonight, and give you my answer in the morning.”

I reached for her, and though she tried to draw back, took her by both arms and pulled her to me. Then as real fear showed in her face I kissed her softly, so softly. “Don’t you know that I love you?” This time the tears were undoubtedly mine.

“Tonight,” she said, kissing me and then quickly drawing back, moving back toward the others. “Tonight.”

II

That night we met again. For we had still received no answer from the Celts. They had made no attempt to board, and now seemed to be giving us room to breathe— or perhaps to try and escape, thus testing our honesty. Before going below, Cassius and I had watched the smaller craft go ashore, and campfires spring up across the island. Clearly the place is well known to them. But the two larger ships remained at their stations, virtually blocking the entrance of the lagoon. Perhaps we could slip between them, but with the wind now from the southeast, it was unlikely at best.

The two women remained anxious, though with her underlying, almost manly courage Ariel was better able to carry on, and even to calm her husband in their unique, reserved fashion.

Meryl could not. “They’re taking so long,” she said again. “Is that a bad sign?”

“I don’t know,” replied Cassius honestly. “I only wish to God I’d offered them the ship.”

“Why are you so intent on giving it away?” said Alexander, the strain beginning to tell on all of us. “I saw admiration in the eyes of the mariners, but nothing more. They already have two stout ships of their own.”

“I know that,” said Cassius irritably. “But we’re asking a lot of them, and offering nothing in return. It’s not only a beautiful island, but strategic as well.”

“It’s uninhabited,” the youth chided.

“That’s what we thought about the first island. And remember the ‘abandoned’ watchtower on the southern spit of this one? You think they never use it? I’m just glad we didn’t stay on Sharcaen. Nechtainn can talk all he wants about tolerance. Sacred sites and vestal virgins are nothing to fool with.”

“Why do you say this island is strategic?” asked Jacob thoughtfully.

Cassius turned back to Alexander. “Tell him what Oileán Cléire means.”

… “Clear Island.”

“Yes, and they don’t call it that for nothing.”

“I still don’t understand,” said Jacob.

“Look where it’s placed,” returned Cassius. “At the far corner of the archipelago. It dominates all the others, commanding a clear view not only of its islands, but of the surrounding coasts, the open Sea beyond. You’ve seen the fog-bank that often blankets the mainland, the nearer islands. It rarely reaches this far out. And you’ve seen the watchtower on the point. I’m only surprised they haven’t done more with it. The tribal chieftains, and especially the sailors, seem to know the place all too well.”

“I’m scared,” said Meryl softly, clinging to her husband. Perhaps she meant it for Malachi alone; but Ariel heard, as I did. Their friendship has only grown stronger with time, and women aren’t as foolish about a loving relationship— including physical contact, comforting— as men. She went to her, and the two embraced. Then Ariel looked back to her husband.

“What will they do?” For she knew his face and form too well not to read the marks of deep anxiety upon them.

“I’m not sure,” was all he would say at first. Then, “I think if they meant to kill us they would have done so already.”

Jacob stirred from his reverie. “Understanding that you don’t want to assume anything, I will say this. I sensed no hostility from Nechtainn, even a kind of cautious benevolence with regard to our hopes. He showed respect to each of us, and open affection for Alexander.” The young man nodded in agreement, then Cassius continued.

“Yes, and if he were their King— as I suspect this Magnus is, in everything but name— or anything like an absolute ruler, I wouldn’t be worried. But you heard what he said about, ‘Each man’s voice will be heard’, and all that nonsense about democracy.”

“Why is it nonsense?” demanded Alexander. “It worked for centuries in Greece, until the Romans came along.”

“Yes, but we did come along. Someone always does. The point is that the decision is not his to make. While I’m sure that as their spiritual leader he has his influence, I think that when the push comes he has little real power. That Magnus, whatever he is, his brother and the tribal chieftains, they will have the final say.”

“I’m not so sure,” I said, speaking for the first time. “If we were all Jews, and Jacob chose to assert his authority, I daresay that would give his views an added weight among us. Nechtainn’s people are all of one Faith— Earth Communion, as he calls it— and I find his place among them far from nominal. Remember, he did nearly all of the talking.”

“Yes,” agreed Alexander. “And even Magnus came aboard first, to be sure that it was safe for him to follow.”

Cassius couldn’t dispute this, and his uncertainty was making him tighter than a backstay in a gale. He seemed ready to snap, and for once I wouldn’t have blamed him. To feel those you love and have sworn to protect in dire danger, is simply not something that can be expressed in words. Ariel returned to him, and for the first time (in public view), he not only let her embrace him, but leaned his head wearily against her. I must admit I felt a pang of loss (and jealousy) as I witnessed the depth of emotion between them. I’d thought myself beyond that. I guess there are some things, some women, you never truly get over.

“There’s nothing more you can do tonight,” she said gently. Then to the rest of us. “I’m sure we’ll have their answer tomorrow. They haven’t tried to hurt or intimidate us, and that’s something. We should sleep while we can, and let the world turn without us.”

Jacob nodded in agreement (and love), recognizing both the quotation, and the wisdom it contained.

Oh, Ariel. Why does the mere writing of your name bring such passionate tears to my eyes?

Because I love you, and always will.

“All right,” said Cassius, at last letting go, and we dispersed again. To wait.

And in my case, to burn.

I

That night, for the first time since the killing storm came upon us, we were able to eat and drink to heart’s content. Lamb is beautiful meat when properly roasted; and Cassius and Ariel, having no notion of luxury or extravagance, have spent nearly all their share of coin on the immediate needs of their family: foodstuffs and cooking utensils, wine and spices. They are at home here, which only adds to my dilemma. For as I am painfully aware, Meryl is not.

She seemed to read this in my face as we and the brothers remained talking about the fire, Cassius, Ariel, and both of the children having already gone to bed. She put her arms about my neck, kissed my cheek and whispered sadly. “I know. I love them, too. Ariel is the closest thing to a friend I’ve ever known. But we have to think of our own family now.”

Alexander heard this, and nodded gravely. “This is not the life my brother and I would have chosen. Cleades can’t remain hiding in the cave forever, never tasting the free air, or sailing between sea and sky. We mean to speak of it to Cassius in the morning. If they are happy here and wish to stay, so be it. We mean to travel to Hippo by river, from there to buy a boat if we can, or sign on as sailors if we must. The sea is our home, our only hope of a better life.”

My emotions were a whirlwind: the company breaking up, and so soon after tragedy. I could not help but feel that our fellowship, begun by Jacob in the meeting hall so long ago, had failed. That I had failed somehow.

But when the twins too had gone to bed, when Meryl put her hand beneath my tunic and began to stroke my breast, I could not resist her. And when she kissed me, then her cheek touched mine and she whispered in my ear, “Make love to me, Gaius,” no voice of body, mind or soul spoke against it. This was my fellowship, my sacrament.

Sarah lay sleeping on the far side of the bed, so we took the near. We had gently undressed each other standing, and lay together as before. My phallus needed no coaxing this night, nor do I think it ever shall again, now that the spell is broken and it longs for Meryl so. Soon we were locked again in love’s embrace. I cannot say what it was to her, but to me it was like soaring through the clouds, into Paradise itself. Less shy and self-conscious now, more intimate and knowing, I made love with a longing and ecstasy for which no words exist. And as we lay together afterward, as she said the words my soul longed to hear:

“Yes, Gaius, I will marry you,” there was, and ever more will be, only one truth in all the world. I love her. She is my home, my family, and nothing else matters.

“Do you still want to go to the city?” I asked. For a moment she drew back in apprehension, as if I had changed my mind. “That’s not what I mean, Angel. Only that if it’s what you need, I will gladly give it to you.”

Her answer came not in words, but in tears. She buried her face against me, said, “Yes,” but sorrowfully, almost in despair. What does this mean, I half wondered? But only half. For at last I know my place in the world, and read without confusion the beauty of her heart. For I am her husband, Sarah’s father, and there is nothing in heaven or earth I would not do for them.

I don’t know why her tears stirred me so deeply. Only that I felt my sex hardening again, and was abashed when I knew that she could feel it. “I’m sorry,” I said, shame and desire coursing through me together, the one only heightening the other.

“No, Gaius,” she said. And she kissed me. “Make love to me. Take me away from this hell.” I wasn’t sure if she referred to a place or an emotion, but by this time I was lost in passion again. Her moist eyes and vagina were more than I could possibly resist. And I didn’t want to.

For she, unlike any woman I have ever known, has freed the man inside me. Can you begin to understand what that is after a life of thwarted longing: not being able to give the girls I lay with and loved, the passion that they needed? Now I’m free! Free, do you hear? And with a woman I love more than I have ever loved anyone….. Save Ariel, and she will never be mine. We made love again, this time longer, more gentle. So tender, so full of affection. And when at length the climax drew near, for both of us, only three words existed in all the world.

As my seed, and my soul, poured into her.

II

Though I did not think I would sleep this night either, between the fatigue, insomnia and long anxiety that led up to it, I slept as I have seldom done, with Sarah nuzzled against me. We woke together to the sound of a boat bumping alongside.

Realizing suddenly what this meant, I told her to remain below, kissed her forehead and ran up on deck. Cassius was there ahead of me, helping the Druid to board, his white robes and flowing hair tinged orange by the rising sun. Only one other came with him this time: Angus, the naval commander. And as he looked possessively about the ship, I wondered if this was not a very bad sign, indeed.

But when Nechtainn read something of this in my expression, he looked directly at me and said, “Be at peace. Magnus waits for us on shore. We have decided to let you stay.”

Those who have not known what it is to live without a home— exposed, vulnerable, feeling safe and wanted nowhere— may find this hard to understand. But the rush of feeling, like the breaking of a dam, was almost too much to bear. Tears pushed at my eyes as I struggled for the breath to calm me. Cleades wept outright. But Alexander stood straight and clenched his fists, eyes shining as at the realization of a lifelong dream.

Cassius, always the pragmatist, went to the Commander of Ships and held out his forearm. The man took it slowly, but without animosity.

“My brother would like to speak to you,” said Angus simply, “about the defense of the island.” He thanked Alexander gruffly for translating this, then said to him, “As I would like to speak to you, about our sea defense. We are blessed with a fertile land, and it is my duty is to protect its shores from raiders, and other enemies of Erainn.”

Alexander nodded, though cautiously.

“Yes,” said Nechtainn more kindly, as if he knew what we were feeling. “You are free to live among us, so long as you volunteer your service and prove your loyalty. When you’re ready we will go ashore and discuss— ”

He had to stop because Ariel had come out and, hearing what was said, run up and embraced him with tears in her eyes. I could sense Cassius’ foreboding— allowing the Celts to see her, along with the gratitude we felt.

But for once his caution was unfounded. When she drew back the old man smiled warmly, as he would upon a daughter.

“Sweet child.” And laying his hand on the swell of her abdomen he added. “And blessed be the life that grows inside you. I will send a skilled midwife to help deliver it safely when your time draws near.”

“Thank you,” she said, with a sudden love in her eyes I would have died for.

But enough of that. The dawn of a new day, a new life, is no time for darkness. She then embraced her husband, and even the stern expression of the seaman softened. Young mother, sweet song, can you begin to understand the gentle affection we all hold for you?

But I must not forget my own blessings. Again Sarah ran to me from the top of the ladder, and I knew in my heart that I was truly home.

“We can stay,” I said, lifting her. And when she squeezed my neck and said simply, “I love you, Daddy,” I no longer had any wish to stop the tears. Thank God, by whatever name you call Him, Her or It. Thank God.

Nechtainn gave us a moment, then said, “Will you come ashore? All but the chieftains and some of the sailors are returning to their homes.”

This only confirmed the tale of our eyes. The many boats that surrounded us so quickly the day before, had taken to their oars and were pulling steadily out of the harbor. Once in the offing— the wind having grown somewhat calmer in the night, and turned from the southwest— they set their sails for home, riding currents of air and water both with remarkable skill. Of the two ships that had blocked the entrance, the smaller— still at least the size of our own— also departed, though after clearing the cape it bore away to the north on some mission of its own.

Alexander watched with appreciation the way it was handled, its smooth and true response to the wind— the nearest thing to a match for Aphrodite that I had seen, with innovations of mast and sail quite beyond my comprehension.

“A sweet sailor, is she not?” said Angus, warming to the lad. “The Tyrion is neither so fast nor so graceful,” he went on, indicating the larger ship, which remained. “But she holds more men, more weapons, and can grapple with any ship afloat.”

“I believe it,” said Alexander, marking her tall sides and stout timbers.

“Shall we go ashore?” asked the Druid once more.

“Yes,” replied Cassius, not yet allowing himself to smile. But to those of us who have seen his weathered face in all its many aspects, it was clear he was at least as relieved as any of us.

Believing in nothing, too, has its price.

Angus cast off with his party, and Jacob again joined us as we drew in the launch and went over the side. Only Malachi remained to guard the women and children— not out of trepidation, I assure you. The terrible scar at his neck speaks for his courage: his willingness to fight, and defend those he loves. Did Meryl’s timidity contribute to the decision? Perhaps, though let us not judge too harshly. Not all women possess the courage of our Ariel, lost treasure of my heart.

#

When again we sat before a fire on shore, having eaten and drunk the meal left for us, Nechtainn turned to Magnus. And whether or not he is their King, it hardly mattered at that point. For what he went on to say showed clearly that his had, in fact, been the final word, and was still of vital importance to us all.

I studied him now more closely, as he gathered his thoughts to speak. His hair was more brown than red, darker than his brother’s, though both men wore short and well-tended beards. He wore now a more ceremonial garment: a dark, pleated skirt that had nothing feminine about it, a saffron shirt of subtle workmanship— denoting high status, I am told— and a forest-green jacket.

I should add that though the sea-breeze was cool, and beginning to keen once more, none of the natives seemed to take the least notice of it. I must confess it will be some time before this Roman, for whom a cool sea-breeze has hitherto meant something else entirely— a refreshing change from the stifling heat of a lowland Italian summer— will come to regard such a climate as moderate.

“It was long, my friends, before Nechtainn convinced us that you were not a threat, even a possible ally. If you wish to feel grateful to someone, it should be to him. My purpose in letting you stay is strategic, and will be withdrawn immediately if I find that I have erred in my judgment.”

Cassius watched him closely, realizing that a kind of negotiation had already begun, and one in which he held few cards. For though I have spoken of him primarily as a warrior, the power of the Roman Empire lay not only in the might of its armies, but also the shrewdness of its diplomats. It would be a book in itself to tell you of Rome’s (at times benevolent) foreign policy, once the province in question had acquiesced or been subdued. And also beside the point, as her only strategy now is mere survival.

Magnus gauged the effect of his words, continued. “My brother Angus will make similar proposals to your Alexander, which are equally crucial to any agreement between us.”

As the young man translated this with a sinking heart, I think we all began to wonder if Aphrodite were not the cost of our staying, after all. “The fleet of Erainn, of which you have seen but a part, has many duties, as you will learn. But we will speak of that later.

“You may remain on Oileán Cléire, but at a price.” This seemed to confirm our surmise, though he now turned directly to Cassius. “You fought the Celts of Scot-land, did you not?”

At this our leader froze. Had this all been an elaborate trap, some retroactive vengeance for friends and family lost? For the Celtic peoples, whether here or there, remained one, and Magnus himself may well have fought the Romans in Britannia.

“Why do you ask me that?” he said defensively.

“We are no longer adversaries,” returned Magnus levelly. “I do not seek to punish old wrongs. But you must answer my question.”

Cassius’ inner conflict was obvious. Should he tell the truth, or would this bring ruin on us all? Yet it was equally clear that this ruler’s insight was more than a stab in the dark. Whether Cassius had been recognized as a garrison commander along Hadrian’s Wall (which he was), or whether Magnus shrewdly guessed it from his understanding of their Celtic ways, in the end there was only one real choice. He had to tell the truth.

“Yes,” he admitted reluctantly, “though you drove us out in the end.”

The admission seemed to satisfy Magnus, as if his counterpart had passed some kind of test. “You won your share of battles,” he conceded, “and the construction of your defenses was brilliant.”

This I had heard for myself— that Hadrian’s wall, built to keep the Scot-landers from overrunning Britannia, was a work not only stunning in size and scope, but in the genius of its design, with skillful use made of every natural height, depression, forest, field and garrison, an engineering marvel from that day to this. Only superior numbers, and encircling it by sea, had been able to drive the Roman defenders, Cassius among them, out of Britannia: a bitter defeat on the long road home through Gaul, Italy, and finally, the fruitless defense of Rome itself: one horrendous, heart-rending retreat for Cassius, culminating in the death of his wife and son. I don’t know why all this has come to me just now, but it is true, and so must be recorded. No wonder you are the man you are, my friend. Such an ordeal would have killed all but one man in a thousand: yourself, the sole survivor of the once legendary Seventh Legion: a piece of history.

Magnus had not paused in his words, only I in recording them. Here is the rest of what was said.

“But the reason I ask is this. As a former adversary, you will know not only our strengths, but also our weaknesses.”

I don’t know if Cassius relaxed at these words— I suspect he did not— but military strategy is something he loves, and has studied all his life. And now that Magnus spoke to him as an equal— or as much of an equal as possible while retaining his dominant position— Cassius was more than

willing to discuss it with him.

“You didn’t have many,” he replied. “Some of the Bretons who came on us from the south fought like mere brutes, the reason they were so easily defeated. But your people, once past the wall. . .when you struck quickly, then melted back into land or sea…..”

There is no need to relate the details of their discussion, which went on for some time, both men seeming to lose themselves among the stories and stratagems. But when they returned to the matter at hand, Magnus said plainly.

“We are going to build a garrison on the island, as we have long contemplated.”

“I thought you might,” said Cassius. For though the two had for a time set aside their high stakes game, which was no game at all, they took it up again at once.

Yet this decision raised a new concern for me, and one which I could not keep silent. “But won’t that pose a threat to our women and children? Forgive me, I mean not the least offense. But soldiers are not known for their. . .passivity.” I could find no other way to express it. And though I was aware of Cassius’ anger, the thought of our women being harassed, or even assaulted by lonely and violent men, was completely unacceptable.

“I understand your caution,” said Magnus without rancor. “As a husband and father myself, I also share it. Isolated soldiers around other men’s wives and daughters seldom comes to good.”

“What do you propose?” asked Cassius mildly, taking the point himself.

“That only married men and their families be stationed here. And when we have agreed on the place where you will build your homes, my men will respect them as such.”

“What are our options?” asked Cassius.

“You’ve seen our watchtower on the southern point. Another will be built on the western spur, yonder.” He pointed. “The garrison will be built on the high knot of land between, the whole enclosed within a battlement wall. Do you agree?”

“Yes,” said Cassius. “That is the place I would have chosen myself. The one thing I would add— no doubt you have thought of this— is some kind of beacon on each tower, to give warning of approaching ships, and a way for the families living here to come quickly inside the walls at need.”

Magnus nodded. “Anything else?”

“I’d be glad to look at your plans when they’re ready.”

“And for the settlement?”

Clearly Cassius had ordered his thoughts beforehand. “The northeastern landmass gives us room and to spare to build our homes. I’d like your permission to build some kind of wall there as well.“

“Why?” asked Magnus cautiously. “We’re trusting you, which we’re under no obligation to do.”

“Not to separate ourselves from you,” said Cassius, “but as some protection against those who might land at night to rob us. Coastal raiders,” he added quickly, seeing the other’s face darken. “And perhaps a causeway between our settlement and the stockade to provide quick access in an emergency. The barrier at the settlement would also provide some shelter against wind and weather. I am told the waters roundabout are referred to as Roaring Bay. No doubt there is a reason for the name.” Magnus nodded.

“One last thought on your defense of the island,” he went on, steering the conversation away from this possible point of contention. “Will you fortify the narrow point of the harbor as well? There are few other places where a landing could be made in force against us.”

“Yes,” said Magnus, “though exactly how it is to be constructed I will have to work out with my brother.

“But tell me,” he went on, seeming put off by the earlier point. “Do you really expect us to give you the whole of the headland? It forms the greater part of the island by far.”

“Now we come to it,” said Cassius, as calmly as he could.

“Yes.”

“I don’t understand,” said Jacob.

At this Nechtainn spoke. “There was some resentment at giving the island, or even the best part of it, to outsiders. And there is also this. If you mean to stay here, and truly be a part of our community, wouldn’t it be best to have other settlers— fishermen and the like— alongside you?”

Cassius mulled this over thoughtfully, or at least appeared to do so.

“And there is also this,” said Magnus, his stern manner returning at our apparent reluctance. “If we remain divided, with military families in the garrison, and just yourselves on the other side of the island…..”

“It would surely lead to strife,” said Cassius quickly, knowing he

could delay no longer.

“I agree,” added Jacob. “We have no wish to remain outsiders.”

“All right then,” said Magnus, still somewhat agitated. “We have long contemplated both the armed and unarmed settlements, or we would not even be discussing this. You have brought none of this about by coming here uninvited.”

Nechtainn put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, nodded gently, and the Lord went on more calmly. “But the sight of your ship, and the ease with which your young man brought her in among us, uncontested if not wholly unseen, have acted as the stone that starts the landslide. Clearly we must act on this, build up our defenses, one way or the other.”

“You have our gratitude,” said Cassius, “which we do not mean to express in words only.” This with a stern look at Alexander, to translate exactly. “I’m equally grateful that you will house your soldiers’ families along with them….. Other settlers would make the island more hospitable as well.”

“It is well that you agree, but not enough to seal our friendship. A tribute must still be paid, oaths sworn, and services rendered.”

“Yes,” said Cassius firmly, though Alexander lowered his head and spoke softly, anticipating the blow.

“Must we surrender the ship?” he asked dejectedly. “We are one being, Aphrodite and I. Is there no other way?”

Magnus glanced at his brother, then back to the young man. “We were hoping you would join forces with us willingly.”

Alexander nodded sadly. “But may I not remain aboard her, as pilot at least? No one knows her ways. . .can make her swim as I do.”

“I do not doubt it,” said Angus, “but you mistake our intention.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You said yourself that no one knows her better.”

“Yes.”

“Could anyone fight her better, if it came to it?”

“No,” said Alexander. “But there are so few of us…..”

His voice trailed off. A look of wonder came over him as he began to understand: a chance he hardly dared hope for. “What are you saying?” he asked breathlessly.

“That we would like you to command her.”